The Geeky Girl and Mason Parker

My Mother

Lily's POV

I don't know what went wrong. I did everything for her. Was it because I refused to be her doll for once? Did she expect to play with me, dress me up whenever she likes? I just don't know.

Ever since I was little, all I ever cared about was a simple life. I wanted a family—a mom and dad that focused on their children and a brother who's always there. Even when I was young, I have always liked school and getting a bachelor's degree in Psychology was all I dreamt about. However, once I stepped into that runway, that entire simple dream comes crashing down.

Instead, I was to live in a big house that only two people seemed like to live in since my parents were always out of town. I was to finish high school, get a degree in fashion, and get into that modelling world. And then, I tried to get my dad to be a part of my life so I studied mechanics. I tried everything for them so that they would see me as their daughter.

However, what I get in return is a controlling mom and a kid-avoiding dad. I had enough of it so I left. I just wanted to experience a year of freedom, but that was impossible, especially when you have a powerful mom and deceiving dad. Also, there's a brother who got infected from them.

If I was given that one year, I would probably be back in Florida, contempt. I wouldn't complain anymore about it, but nope.

Somethings are just not meant to be.

And then after all that, they tell me that my mom has cancer and has less than a year? That has completely changed everything.

Do I hate her? No. I don't hate my own mother but it also doesn't mean I have forgiven her for everything she has put me through. I understand the part where she wants me to get married.

I get it. She wants her daughter wedded to a good person before she leaves this world.

But what I don't get it is the years she has tortured and controlled me. I don't get why she can't at least loosen her grip on me. All I wanted was one year of freedom. I was deprived of the free experience and for that, I can't forgive her.

I know it's cruel of me to not forgive my mom who's sick but come on—you cannot let a sickness be an excuse for all those years. If she really wanted my forgiveness and if she really loves me as her daughter, then she has to explain to me why she did what she's done to me.

I'm willing to forgive her if she's willing to explain to me. That's only possible if I am in Florida or she's here in front of me.

But here I sat in my Chemistry class, not paying attention to the lecture. I've gotten a couple of detentions from these Hawaiian teachers for not paying attention in class. During lunch, I would hide at the back of the school and just stare at the sky.

I thought I was alive until I realized I have been dead ever since I was born. I only realized it when all I could feel were numbness. I wanted to die but I'm already dead. For the past week, Maddy and Landon would try to get me to join dinner with them.

Maddy and Landon tried to set their difference aside as they try to get me to supposedly 'live.' But how could I live when there's nothing left to live for?

"Come on, Lilian," Landon groaned at the other side of the door. "Come out and watch a movie with us."

Like my usual answer, I shouted, "No thanks!"

It has been like this for the past week. Haven't they given up? I have.

I'm okay with Madison now I guess but it doesn't feel right anymore. It's uncomfortable. With our situation, I don't think it would be a good idea to be laughing our butts off while my mom and ex-boyfriend are looking for me and as well as knowing that my mom is sick.