Don't fear it //Jim Moriarty//

[08]

Jim's Point Of View

I've been in here for seven hours now, and they still won't let me leave. They're giving me stupid questions, and it's frustrating to the point that I wish I had died. Stupid questions, such as 'are you taking any medication for mental health issues?' Like what do you fucking think? Of course I am, you know I am! You have my god damn records on your stupid system.

"So what medication are you taking?" One of the doctors asks.

"Olanzapine." I answer casually, shrugging. He looks at me in understanding and writes something down. He leaves the room. I scoff in annoyance. They're blaming this on my mental state, not the shit that's happened. It's pissing me off and I want to leave.

Sebastian enters the room with a bloody nose and a cut on his face. Another scar to end up on his already scarred face. But they look good on him. And I'm pretty sure he likes them. He likes to look as intimidating as possible. My mind comes back to the situation at hand. Why's Seb bleeding?

"What have you done?" I ask, sighing. I'm not mad at him, just mad at the fact I'm still in here.

"I had a fight, Jim." He mutters. "And I might look pretty beat up, but your dad got it worse."

"You had a fight with my dad?" I ask, giving him a smirk. He smiles back at me.

"Well anyone who hurts you has to be hurt, remember? That's the reason I'm here, right?" He smiles. He thinks that's the only reason he's here. It hurts me that he thinks that. He's here because he's my friend, because I care about him. Not because he's my bodyguard or some shit like that. He protects me because he wants to, not because he has to. I don't know where he got that idea from. But, like the prick I am, I nod in agreement. I don't want to be weak and sentimental.

His face falls. I think I hurt his feelings. I then realise that I wasn't supposed to agree. I don't understand emotions. He wanted me to agree, right?

"You're here for more than that. You're more than that." I mumble, looking him in the eye. He's first to break eye contact. I cant blame him.

He tilts my face towards his and tries to kiss me. I push him away, glaring at him. He should know by now that I'm not in love with him. Love is stupid. Love just gets you hurt or killed. Love makes you stupid, weak, vulnerable. It breaks you down until you can't exist without the person you're attached to. Love ruins every good little thing. I don't do love. I'd do a relationship maybe, with affection and caring and all that shit. Maybe I would love someone, but I'd never say those three stupid words.

Sebastian apologises. Over and over again until the word 'sorry' becomes a load of broken nonsense uttered through tears. I feel so guilty, but leading him on would be a hell of a lot worse, wouldn't it? I can't look him in the eye, not that he can even look me in the eye either. I've broken him. And soon I'll end up breaking y/n as well. I'll end up destroying them and having nothing left.

I just watch Seb cry and apologise, not knowing what else to do. He's wiping his eyes on the back of his hand, trying so hard to stop himself from crying. I end up pulling him into a hug, letting him cry in my arms like I have to him a thousand times.

Y/n walks back into the room with a can of pepsi for me. I smile at her and she smiles back. Her eyes flicker to Seb and she mouths 'is he okay?' I don't really know if he's okay so I just shrug. I've done this to him. He shouldn't feel this way to me after all I've done.

"Sebastian, are you okay?" She asks. He doesn't say anything back, he just shakes his head. "What's wrong?" She tries.

"Nothing."