Don't fear it //Jim Moriarty//

[10]

Jim's Point Of View

There's blood all over the linoleum tiles, shattered pieces of mirror everywhere, including in Sebastian's hand. And his brother's dead body laying on the floor. Y/n looks scared. She looks fucking terrified. I feel bad, so I take her hand in mine. I give her a small smile, even though it won't make her feel better. I can try, right?

"I need to call Danny. I gotta call him. I need to talk to Danny. Fuck..." Sebastian mumbles.

"Who?" I ask, not knowing who the hell he's talking about.

"Danny. He'll help me clean this up. He'll help. He's helped before. Give me your phone."

Sebastian seems shaken up. He's mumbling stuff to himself, hands trembling as he presses the buttons on my phone screen. He holds the phone up to his ear, almost tripping over as he walks. He's talking to Danny quietly, I can't hear a word he's saying. But I'm suddenly so angry. Sebastian shouldn't have done this with y/n around to see it.

She's staring at the body, not moving at all. She's just watching, as if she expects it to get up and laugh, or choke, or something. Anything. She's not even shaking, or scared anymore. She's just frozen. Staring.

I punch the broken mirror.

She snaps her head up towards me, grabbing me and looking at my hand. She gently pulls the glass out and throws it to the floor, looking into my eyes.

"Why am I okay with this?" She asks me, breaking down into tears. I hug her to me, letting her cry into my chest. It's so unfair that she has to see this. It's so unfair on her. She shouldn't have to have seen this, and it's even worse that it's not bothering her. I hate the fact that she's feeling like this. "I feel so wrong. I shouldn't be okay with this!"

"You're not wrong. You know there was a reason for what Seb did. I'm not saying he was right, but Seb's complicated."

"I'm not scared of him, or what he did. I'm scared of myself for being completely fine with it!"

"Try not to be. You can't help how you feel, I get it. You're not gonna get anywhere by being scared of yourself. Sebastian is angry, he'll calm down later. He's like this when he's angry, but he'd never hurt you or me. Sebastian won't hurt you." I say, mainly talking to myself. I'm scared of Sebastian when he's angry. I know he wouldn't hurt me.

I'd hurt him if I was angry though. I've done it so many times and I'll end up doing it again. That's just me.

When Sebastian comes back into the room, he hugs y/n close to him, making me slightly jealous. She hugs him back. Seb begins to shake, crying as she hugs him, telling him it's fine.

"I-I thought he was gonna hurt me. I'm sorry you had to see this. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay..."

"No it's not!" I interrupt. "It's so unfair that you had to see Seb kill someone."

"He did it to protect himself. It's okay."

"He wasn't going to do anything to you, Sebastian! Get it through your fucking head." I shout.

"Yes he was!"

"Why do you think everyone is going to hurt you?"

"Cause it's all people have ever done!"

"When have I ever hurt you?" I respond, realising that I have actually hurt him quite a lot. He laughs and punches me in the face. "Did that make you feel better?" I ask, swinging for him.

I'm on the floor, fighting him. Y/n is screaming at us to stop, but neither of us listen. It's better for both of us to just fight it out. Neither of us will in this. I'm not strong enough to hurt Seb, and he can't hurt me simply because I choose to not feel it. But we're both angry, so we'll take it out on one another.