Finnick and Annie

District 13

Author's Note: I am soooooooo sorry it took me so long to update the fanfic I'd just been insanely busy with school and stuff and I wasn't feeling very inspired. The chapter's not too long but I'll be updating a lot more often, I promise. :) 

It had only been a few weeks since we had been rescued from the arena, Katniss, Beetee and myself. Johanna, Peeta and Annie… they remained in the Capitol, captive, being tortured for information they didn’t have... except for Johanna. I spent most of my time in bed, in the hospital in District 13. Katniss usually kept me company at first, though she hated me for what I’d done, and I couldn’t blame her. My cooperation with Plutarch and Haymitch and the rest of them, my participation in the rebellion had led to Peeta’s capture, and Mag’s death and Annie… she’d been taken from District 4 as well, and it was my fault.

I hated myself, but I also hated Plutarch, who had sworn that he wouldn’t let them hurt her, he’d promised she’d be safely waiting for me in District 13 after I was rescued and I had believed his lies.

See, the thing about having to keep appearances for so long is that eventually you start to believe your own lies. I’d been nothing but Snow’s puppet for year’s I’d followed his every command for fear of what he might do to Annie. I’d acted confident and strong and brave during both my games, and during all my visits to he Capitol. Though Annie and Mags were the only people I could completely trust with my emotions, I’d kept them somewhat hidden even then, because I hated being pitied and I knew my suffering would cause them pain. It was when I was completely alone and defenseless that I finally realized how much of a coward I really was.

I both hated and admired Katniss. I hated her because even though she had never meant for any of it to happen… the rebellion… the abduction of Annie and the destruction of District 12, had been her fault. I also admired her, because even though Peeta had bee taken by the Capitol as well, she acted a lot stronger than I did. She also cried a lot less.

I’m embarrassed to say that I spent most of the time I was awake crying; it annoyed the hell out of Katniss. I’d suffered my fair share of emotional breakdowns in the past but this was different. It wasn’t my suffering, which caused me pain. I was fine, really. I’d suffered a huge electrical shock when the arena exploded, and the doctors were blaming that for my mental instability, but apart from that I was fine. Electricity had nothing to do with it, though. I’d always been very good at imagining the worse, and years of visits to the Capitol and my priced collection of dirty secrets gave me nothing but a greater understanding of the cruelty of which Snow was capable of. The information I’d been so eager to collect had finally come back to bite me in the ass. A parade of all the different methods of torture flashed through my mind, and in each one of them I saw Annie. Annie being whipped, shocked, poisoned… raped. It drove me crazy.

I could only then begin to understand what Annie went through… Annie who would still in occasion collapse into sobs as the images flashed through her mind.

I had only one true friend… the meds. Not that I was becoming a drug addict or anything, but the meds numbed the pain and they took away the torture that was my consciousness.

It was cowardly, yes… instead of helping out and figuring out ways in which to rescue Annie, I preferred to sleep. Unlike regular sleep, drug-induced sleep wasn’t plagued by nightmares it was like temporary death.

They wanted to convert me into a rebel leader as well, so I could fight alongside Katniss, the almighty Mockingjay, the leader of the rebellion… but even when they managed to keep me awake for more than a few minutes, my mind was elsewhere and they had to repeat things thrice before I paid attention… so they soon gave up on me, which I was grateful for. The last thing I wanted to do was fight, though at times I wondered if that’d be the best. I knew there was nothing I could do to save Annie, and now that she was gone, I couldn’t think of any reasons to stay. I wasn’t suicidal, I’d just lost a will to live, though deep inside I held on to the hope that I’d see Annie once more, and that kept me from total insanity. Snow had once told me that hope is the only thing stronger than fear, and oh, how right he had been.

Katniss was released from the hospital soon enough, they dragged her to meetings with Coin and other important leaders of the revolution and tried to get her to cooperate with their plans, but I knew well enough how hard it was to get Katniss to obey. I somehow managed to keep well informed, mostly because people thought I was to out of it to actually understand what they were talking about, so I overheard nurses and doctors and in some occasions Plutarch and Haymitch, who’d visit, mostly because they wanted me to get better to help out with their plan.

I found she’d been taken to District 13, just for the hell of it, there was nothing to gain from that trip but Katniss was Katniss and she got what she wanted, though I knew if she didn’t start cooperating, Coin would soon get sick of her childish whims.

I also learned a lot from the television. There was one in the hospital and it was on most of the time, though nobody ever paid much attention to the Capital program, however, every once in a while there would be actual news on the situation and the nurses would gather around to hear it.

The day Peeta’s interview came out, I was just waking up from my drug-induced sleep, but the moment I heard his voice all of my senses sharpened. I was mostly confused because Peeta was in prime conditions. He talked about the games and how he had no idea what had happened, and then… he called for a cease-fire. I knew Snow was behind it, they must have had him under threat, but the candor in Peeta’s voice made me wonder if it wasn’t really him…

I could just imagine how Katniss was reacting, if she was even seeing the broadcast. At least she knew he was alive and well, a traitor in the rebel’s eyes, yes, but I only wished I were as certain of Annie’s state.