Finnick and Annie

I Get off My Ass and Do Something

I was technically not living in the hospital anymore. I’d been moved to one of the standard living quarters on the same floor as Katniss, but I had so many breakdowns I was barely there. That’s why being with Beetee was nice for a change.

            My hands stung. The trident felt very heavy but after the first few missed shots, once my arm had gotten used to the brand new weapon I hit dummy after dummy, no misses, no mercy. I pictured Snow’s face when I aimed. I’d lost track of time. It was Beetee’s hand on my sweat-soaked back that snapped me back to reality.

            “Finnick…I think that’s enough for today.” I chugged the water that he handed me and set my weapon back down. “These guys work fast. They only just got back and they’ve already finished the propo. Come on, let’s go show everybody”

            I sat next to Beetee as he worked on his computer. He hit a bunch of buttons and the screen lit up in flames. There were shots of Katniss, of burning buildings, of the hospital collapsing, while Katniss’ voice rang loud, angry, passionate. I had plenty reasons to hate Snow before, but what had happened at Eight, Katniss’ outraged cries only filled me with even more hatred. I couldn’t imagine that there was anybody out there who watched this propo and didn’t want to stand up to the Capitol.

            “Wow,” I said.

            “Yes, indeed.”

            I left Beetee and wondered around the halls for almost an hour. I wasn’t really thinking of anything, just walking, though Katniss’ voice kept playing over and over in my head. Snow had bombed a hospital full of injured men, women and children, just to get back at Katniss. Those people meant nothing to him. They were disposable. Annie meant nothing to Snow either…

            There was only one reason I was completely sure she was still alive. If Snow had killed Annie, he would have let me know already to torture me, but in what state was she? I was plotting against him and his government. I had helped the rebels get Katniss out of that arena. I had kept her alive. I could feel my heart beating faster and my palms turning sweaty.

            “Finnick!” I turned around and spotted Fulvia. She worked with Snow and Plutarch though I wasn’t exactly sure what it was she did. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you all over the place.”

            “Me?” I asked, surprised.

            “Yeah, you. We want to start a series of propos called We Remember featuring some of the diseased tributes from various districts, talk a bit about them, and show some picture, you know? We want to remind the people what they’re fighting for. We wanted you to do the voiceover. We were thinking about starting with Rue, Mags−“

            “No.” She stared at me, like she hadn’t understood what I’d said. “I can’t do that… he’ll kill her if he sees me cooperating.”

            “Finnick, what are you talking about?”

            “He’ll kill Annie like he killed all the innocent people in Eight!”

            “Finnick, just calm down please. At least tell me you’ll consider it. Come on, let’s get you back to the hospital.”

            “No…” I sighed. I leaned back against the wall and looked at my hands and the piece of rope I’d been knotting absentmindedly. If Annie were here, what would she tell me? Even though I’d never be able to forgive myself for what had happened to her thanks to me, I knew she would never blame me. I had plenty of reasons to hate the Capitol, but she did too, and even though most people wouldn’t see her as a hero type, I knew Annie would have been more than glad to sacrifice herself to bring down the Capitol.

I didn’t want her to die, and I didn’t want her to suffer, but I also didn’t want to keep living the way I was so used to. If I didn’t do something to help out, then maybe Snow wouldn’t kill Annie, they’d continue to torture her though, and hadn’t I wished she were already dead? If I helped out one of two things would happen. They’d kill her and end her misery, or they’d keep torturing her and I had the chance to see her again, plus I might be contributing something to the cause.

“Fine. I’ll help you.” Fulvia smiled and nodded. She led me back to the hospital and talked on and on about all the ideas she had. We agreed to meet the following day and get to work. I did the voiceover for many of the propos. They were all very touching, and I’m not very sure how much they contributed to the revolution, but I felt helpful for once. I had something to take my mind off Annie... for a while at least.

That day when I arrived at the hospital Katniss was seated on her bed. Fulvia left and I looked at her. She looked pretty banged up.

“Are you okay?” She had a far-off look in her eyes, like she was barely aware I was talking to her, but she nodded.

At dinnertime, I moved my tray to her bed and we sat together to watch the new propo that Messalla had put together. It showed more clips of the incident at Eight, and Boggs, Gale and Cressida described what had happened. Like the first one I’d seen, it was all very shocking and enraging, but watching it with Katniss by my side was even worse.

She watched, resigned, and when the hospital got attacked she covered her face with a pillow. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. My guilt was eating me alive because Annie was getting tortured, but Katniss’ visit to the district had gotten hundreds of people killed. It wasn’t her fault of course, but guilt works in cruel ways.

“People should know that happened,” I said, patting her shoulder lightly, “and now they do.”

“Let’s turn it off, Finnick, before they run it again.” I moved my hand towards the remote, but as I was about to press the button she stopped me. The screen flashed the Capitol logo and Ceasar Flickerman materialized on the screen, his brightly colored hair recognizable from miles. I looked at Katniss. I knew what this was about.

Sure enough, Ceasar’s guest was none other than Peeta. Katniss’ expression when she saw Peeta was heartbreaking. He was barely recognizable. He’d lost a lot of weight, his hands were shaking and there were bags under his eyes that not even the Capitol’s best prep team could cover.

            “Oh, Peeta…” she whispered, helpless. I wanted to reassure her that he would be fine, but I didn’t want to lie. We were helpless, both of us. We had to choose between the wellbeing of our loved ones of the wellbeing of an entire nation. Katniss and I both knew we were doing the right thing, but oh, were we suffering the consequences.