Finnick and Annie

Lifeline (Annie's POV)

Finnick's gone. He's dead. He's never coming back. For years I dreaded exactly this. During his games and every trip to the Capitol that followed, I was consumed with the fear that he would never return home to me. Now there is no home to return to, but truthfully, Finnick was my only home. After losing Mags and my family, he was the only thing that mattered.

Johanna eventually finds me in my supply closet. Her eyes are red and puffy, and though I know she's hurting, she looks annoyed.

"You can't just run away like that," she says, grabbing my wrist and tugging at it for me to get up. "You're going to get in trouble."

I shrug my shoulders, but lift my chest off the ground. I know she's not going to leave me alone unless I do. My body hurts from lying on the cold, hard floor, but I don't care. The pain of my aching muscles is nothing compared to the overwhelming grief I feel inside.

"Annie... I'm sorry," she sighs, sliding against a wall to sit beside me on the floor. She seems to be thinking of something else to say, but what is there to say at a time like this?

"I'm pregnant," I say softly, staring at my shaking hands. I feel her shift next to me, unsure what to say.

"Did he know?" she asks nervously. I shake my head.

"If I told him... he wouldn't have left." My voice wavers before fresh tears stream down my face. "If I'd just told him..." If I had just told him, I'm sure he would have stayed, and we could have been the happy family I always dreamed of.

"Don't do that to yourself," she says. "There's not use wondering what could have happened. I wouldn't have told him either."

I look at her and she gives me a half-hearted smile. "After what Snow did to us... it would have killed him to stay behind and see his friends risk their lives. I'm sorry he's gone, but you know he had to be there."

I do know. But was it really worth it? "I don't know what I'm going to do," I whimper. "I can barely take care of myself. I can't do this alone."

"You're not alone." She hesitantly reaches for my hand. Though the gesture is a little awkward, I appreciate it. "I can come stay with you for a while. I mean... I don't have a lot of experience with kids, but I'm sure I can learn. We'll figure it out together. And Beetee and the others will be there for you too."

Though I know it's true, I feel little comfort, but it's nice to know that even if I'm a completely inadequate mother, my baby will be taken care of.

"I hope it's a boy." I take a deep breath and wipe the tears off my face. "I'll teach him how to fish, just like Finn wanted." I feel a pang in my chest as I say his name. I wonder if that will ever stop. I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell our kids about their dad without the sadness washing over me.

"I'm sure you baby will be wonderful either way," she assures me. "But you have to take care of yourself, okay?"

I nod. I promised Finnick I would. I've been weak and helpless for a very big part of my life, but I'm not going to screw this up.

"It's all I have left of him," I whisper. Johanna squeezes my hand.

"When you go back to District Four, and you sit by the ocean with your baby, he will be there with you. He's not going to die in vain, Annie. He did this so that your baby could have a better life. Even if he didn't know you were pregnant. It's what he always fought for."

I take a deep breath and push myself off the floor. My vision blurs for a second but I hold the wall for support. I step out of the supply closet feeling a little better. My world still feels like it's crumbling, and I still feel like I'm drowning, but I know that I can't sink. I won't let myself sink because I need to do one thing right. I will be a good mother to my baby. Our baby.