Losing Hope

Twenty Three

I was staring at the ground, trying to make some sense of what had just happened. I couldn't believe that Ben, out of all people, had been stung. And had attacked someone. That meant only one thing, and although I'd never seen it, I knew it would be painful to watch. I took a deep breath, looking up.

"Are you okay?" Thomas asked, and I looked at him, then at Chuck, and nodded.

"Yeah. You? Did he hurt you?" I asked, and he shrugged, his right hand instinctively going to his left wrist. I walked over to him and lifted his hand. He had four little bleeding scratches on his wrist. "What happened?"

"His nails dug into my wrist while he was holding me down," he explained calmly, and I nodded, walking towards the Homestead. He took the hint and followed me, and I could hear Chuck also coming with us.

We reached the Homestead and I sat him down on a chair, taking what I needed to clean his wound. I sat down in front of him, while Chuck took a seat on the bed. I decided to use aloe on his wound instead of wasting some of our stronger ointments, and got to work.

At the moment when I was done cleaning it, Alby appeared in the doorway, a grave look on his face. I finished bandaging Thomas up, thinking that Newt had spilled the bean and he was coming to talk to me, but he waited until I had put away my things to come into the room. He sat in the chair I had been sitting in, and I took it as a hint to leave. I walked out of the room and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes to breathe for a second.

"Hey, you okay?" Someone asked softly, in a way too familiar accent. I opened my eyes and looked down at my wrist, playing with my bracelet.

"You should ask Thomas if he's okay. I'm not the one who was attacked," I whispered, and I heard him walk closer to me. I kept my glare down, not wanting to look up and meet his eyes. We stayed in silence a few seconds, before he scoffed.

"Come on. Are you mad at me?" he asked, I rolled my eyes looking up at him.

"Of course not. Why would I be?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Because I didn't want you to take care of Ben?" he tried, and it was my turn to shrug, looking down. He walked closer to me, putting a finger under my chin to lift my head up, then letting his hand drop awkwardly once I was looking up at him.

"You want the honest truth?" he asked, and I nodded, frowning. "The day you got out of that Box, Alby and I had a chat. We agreed that we would protect you, and make sure that the others wouldn't try anything on you. We don't want you to get hurt by them," he explained, and although I was grateful for it, I didn't get why he was telling me that right now.

"And what does that have to do with Ben?" I asked, and he sighed, pulling me away from the wall and wrapping his arm around my shoulders, walking me towards the door of the Homestead. I followed, knowing that he probably didn't want Alby to hear what he had to say.

"Look, I just didn't want Ben to hurt you in any way," he said, and I sighed, pushing his arm away as we passed the doorstep.

"Haven't I shown that I can take care of myself yet?" I argued, and he sighed.

"You know that's not what I meant. And from what I know, you've never had to take care of a stung person before," Newt stated, and I scoffed.

"No, but clearly you underestimate how crazy you were when we tried to take care of your foot that day," I spat out without thinking, and he looked at me with a very hurt expression. Guilt filled me and I sighed, looking away from him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," I let out, and he scoffed. I looked up at him, taking his hand in mine. "No seriously. That was uncalled for," I added, and he nodded, shrugging. I sighed again. "I'm just... upset about the whole thing. The Greenie's name, Ben being stung, the look Gally gave me, it's just-"

"What look Gally gave you?" he asked, frowning.

"When he said that it happened in the day again. He looked at me... as if he thought it was my fault. Like for Jack," I mumbled the last sentence, and he shook his head.

"Don't say that. Jack wasn't your fault, and Ben isn't your fault either," Newt reassured me. I laughed, shaking my head.

"I just used that day against you in an argument, yet you're still defending me," I observed, and it was his turn to laugh.

"Well, you did apologize for it. Unless you didn't mean that," he said, and I rolled my eyes. He put his arm around me again, and this time, I let him. We walked over to the dining area, noticing that Minho had arrived. I guessed someone had told him about Ben, as he looked devastated. His eyes met mine, and I sent him what I wanted to be an encouraging smile. He nodded once, looking away.

"Newt?" I asked quietly, and he mumbled a 'yeah' in answer. "Ben is gonna be banished, isn't he?" I asked, and I felt his body tense next to me. He took a deep breath and looked at me.

"Yeah. Yeah, he attacked another Glader. We have to banish him," Newt whispered back, and I nodded, taking a breath before we found ourselves in front of Minho. I moved away from Next and sat next to my friend, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"How are you holding up?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Meh. I wasn't that close to Ben, but he's still... well, was still one of the best Runners out here. Meaning our chances of getting out-"

"Minho, I don't care about the Maze. I wanna know how you're feeling," I cut him off, and he stared up at me. His usually so distant and hard to read face had disappeared, replaced by a very saddened expression. I felt my heart shrink. I had never seen Minho like that, not since he took Newt back to the Glade weeks ago. I pulled him in a hug and he didn't resist, leaning his head on my shoulder.

We sat like that a few seconds, until he straightened up and gently pushed me away. He had a small smile, then looked away from me. I looked up at Newt, who was looking at Minho, a concerned look on his face. I cleared my throat, standing up.

"I'm gonna... go get some food. I guess," I whispered, looking up at Newt. He nodded, and sat where I had been sitting seconds ago next to Minho. I went to Frypan's counter, although I wasn't very hungry. I knew they needed some time, even if they wouldn't admit it.