Losing Hope

Twenty Five

"Who are you?"

"Who are you?"

"I thought I was the only kid here!"

White, empty halls were all I could see, and I wanted to look around, to run down the halls to see where I was, but I couldn't move. All I could do was listen to the voices.

"You're not. There are a lot of kids here, boys and girls." The voice sounded slightly familiar, but I couldn't tell exactly who it was. It wasn't the deep voice I was used to hearing in my dreams, though. It was definitely a boy's voice, but higher, like a kid's voice.

"Then why do they keep me away from them?" Another voice, which sounded like me except also a little younger, asked, sounding worried, as if she wasn't sure if she trusted the other kid.

"I don't know. What's your name?"

"Caroline."

"They never talked about you. My name is Thomas."

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I knew Thomas? I met him when I was young? I couldn't be sure of anything, because I didn't actually see him, but the voice did sound like his. I stood up and sighed, walking to the window of my room and trying to ignore the strange feeling at the bottom of my stomach. I noticed that Minho wasn't alone as he waited for the doors to open, and I squinted, trying to get a better view at who was with him.

I recognized Newt's figure as he shook Minho's hand, and when the two boys took off, I realized it was Alby that was leaving with Minho. I frowned, walking out of my room and down the stairs. I made my way to the dining area just as Newt was getting there.

"You're up early. Bloody nightmares again?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah. The usual, I guess," I lied, and walked over to the counter to get my food. Newt followed me in silence, and we sat down together to eat our breakfasts.

"Why is Alby running today?" I asked, and Newt took a bite of his food.

"He wants to retrace Ben's steps. See if we can find anything. Like I did when Jack died," he said in a detached voice. I nodded slowly, looking down and taking a tasteless bite.

"You're sure you're okay? You look... disturbed. Is it the banishing?" Newt insisted, and I sighed.

"No, it's just..." I stopped, myself, looking up at him, then shook my head. I had started to say it, might as well finish. "I felt younger in that dream. And I wasn't with the same person," I explained, and he frowned.

"Who were you with then?" he asked, and I took a deep breath, before trying to subtly look around us.

"Thomas," I whispered, and Newt's mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth, licking his lips before replying.

"You know, I've been thinking about that, and I think that those dreams might be memories. That the Creators somehow didn't wipe off your mind. At least not fully. And that dream could explain why you remembered his name," he said, so focused that he seemed to be losing himself in his own thoughts. I looked down at my food, poking at it without interest.

"Do you think we should tell Alby?" I asked, and he sighed, shaking his head.

"No. He might as well banish you, and if they are really memories, it could help us to get out," Newt explained. The whole thing felt too intense for me, and I had a small awkward laugh.

"And that's the only reason why you don't want me to be banished?" I asked in a slightly offended tone. He had a smirk.

"Yeah. should there be another reason?" he asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"Screw you, Newt," I scoffed, and he laughed.

"You'd love to," he said smugly and I shook my head, struggling to suppress my laugh.

"Did you really say that?" I sighed, and he laughed loudly. I couldn't help but join him, until we were shushed by Gally, telling us to slim it since some of them were still sleepy. I felt myself blush, and I finished my meal in silence, Newt and I sending each other amused glares every now and then.

We parted for the day, him going to work on a tree stump that had to be taken out and me walking around the Glade, helping whoever had cut themselves. Around noon, as the Gladers started to line up for lunch, it started raining, and Newt told the boys to wait for the storm to pass before getting back to their jobs.

I ate with him, Thomas and Chuck, and the four of us kept sending glares towards the doors, hoping to see Minho and Alby coming back in.

I could tell Newt was really nervous, but he tried his best not to show it, and it seemed to work with the others. He kept calmly answering the Greenie's questions, telling him off when he was getting too nosy. We spent a good part of the afternoon chatting and joking around to try and get the tension away, but it didn't really help. Everyone was clearly nervous to see if Minho and Alby would come back or not. The other runners came back in, but there was still no sign of the ones we expected.

After a while, we were all waiting in front of the main doors. Everyone was silent, and very nervous. Newt was standing in the front and I was standing right beside him. Chuck was also close to us, and his eyes kept going between the walls of the Maze and us. I sent him small, reassuring smiles, but I was getting more and more nervous. They wouldn't make it. Minho and Alby would spend the night in the Maze and unless they were very, very lucky, they wouldn't survive.

"Come on guys, can't we send someone after them?" Thomas asked after a moment, and I shook my head.

"It's against the rules," Gally said before I could answer. I looked down at him, as he was crouching next to Chuck. He looked up at me. "Either they make it back or they don't," he said, and his words hit me like a knife straight into my heart. I looked back at the walls in front of us, my eyes filling with tears.

"We can't risk losing anyone else," Newt added, and I felt his eyes on me for a moment. I didn't look at him, knowing he was feeling the same way I was. After all, he knew Minho for longer than I did. I felt his hand gently touching mine and I wrapped my fingers around it, squeezing it. He pulled me closer to him and I looked down at my boots.

The roaring of the doors made me look up quickly as Chuck mumbled an 'oh no'. I leaned into Newt, not wanting to look as the doors closed. A loud grunt echoed into the corridor and I looked up, eyes wide.

"There!" Thomas shouted, and Minho turned the corner. At first, I didn't understand why he wasn't running full speed towards us, then I realized that he was dragging Alby behind him.

"Wait, there's something wrong," Newt said.

"Come on Minho you can do it!" Chuck shouted, and all the boys started shouting encouragements to Minho. He was slowly making it to the Glade, but not fast enough. He kept moving Alby around, trying to find a way to hold him that would make it easier for him to walk. My stomach twisted, and I shouted desperately at him.

"Minho leave him and run!"

"Minho you gotta leave him!" Gally shouted right after me. Newt tensed next to me.

"They're not gonna make it," he said, and I stared at Minho with wide eyes, only then realizing how far he was from the doors. He put Alby on the ground and started dragging him by his feet.

"Leave him and run Minho!" I shouted, gripping Newt's shoulder. He kept mumbling encouragement, as if he was trying to convince himself they would make it. Then suddenly, Thomas was in my line of vision, dashing between the doors. My hand went from Newt to Thomas as I tried to hold him back, but I had to let go of him when Newt pulled me back, saving me from being crushed between the doors as Thomas made it to the other side.