Schizophrenia (edited)

Depression

10:00
'Hanbin-ah~ Do you need me to accompany you to see Dr Kang today ?', jennie asked hanbin while waiting for their foods. 'Mhm~ aniyo~ I'm better off alone☺️', he tried to force the sweetest smile he could for her, 'Don't make me worry again okayy? The last time you saw Dr Kang you didn't answer my calls for a week ya know? You aren't hiding anything from me right?', jennie worries a lot abt hanbin lately because he's not in his right mind this days-, well at least around her he is , but not when he is with his teammates. 'That's why im better off alone, I don't want to worry you ninnie', hanbin took his food and sits along with his teammates, he's okayy with the awkwardness that flews there -, rather than people talking bad abt iKON. They all stops talking and ate their breakfast silently.

16:00
'I have to leave early today songsaengim. I have an appointment with the doctor', hanbin is talking with his home room teacher, 'Oh okayy just dont forget to bring the doctors' verification card tomorrow', hanbin bows and leaves the teachers room.

On his way to the klinik hanbin kept his mind straight and just hoping for the best result of his illness.

Dr Kang: Hello Kim Hanbin-shii🤝 please have a sit.*hanbin sits at the opposite side of his doctor* So how's your progress?
Hanbin: Idk Dr Kang~ it seems fine to me but I can't be alone this days~

Flashback night before his first day of school;
At his studio -, Hanbin suddenly feels insecure, like there's someone staring at him. 'Who's there?', he's asking suspiciously 😨😠. Ssup ssup -, there's a sound of someone passing by out side his studio, hanbin open's the door, checking the situation outside - nobody's there. 'Auh! Minchinggogattae naega (i think im going crazy)!', he slams the door -, hard. He sits in front of the computer again and starts working on the songs. 'Just give up already! People don't like your music! People hate your attitude! You're selfish! You're not considering abt iKON! You do it only for yourself!', hanbin starts hearing voices whispering in his head -, the voices were complaining and blaming him for all that's happened to iKON. 'Notheamuenaeyaaaaaaa!(its all your fault)', the voice is no longer whispering -,now it's even yelling inside his head. 'Mianhae! Mianhae! I didn't mean all of this to happen! Naega jjalmotaessoeyo!(Im at fault)',he was shivering -, scared. He closes his ears with his hands -, 'Just die already!', the voice yelled again - but this time it made hanbin stand in front of his working place to search for something sharp. Hanbin saw a lighter that seung left at his table -, without thinking he took the lighter and strats to burn his left hand. Buzz buzz, his phone buzzes. "Kimbab". He came back to his sense and take a moment to answer the call ,
Jiwon: Yah! What took you so long! Where are you? Yunhyeong said u're not home yet.
Hanbin: Oh im... im on my way home.
Jiwon: Hey why are you stuttering? U okayy buddy?
Hanbin: Ye...yeah. Of course haha. Im off now. Kennoe hyung (im ending the call).
After ending the call he packs his stuff and went to his car. It's 2:30 a.m.
End of flashback.

Hanbin started to open up to Dr Kang abt what happened to him recently,
Dr Kang: Were you drunk ? I mean did you take any type of drugs or something?
Hanbin: Aniyo aniyo~
Dr Kang: I see...did you took your medicine that night ?
Hanbin: Oh...I did, I did took my medicine but it didn't seems to be working these days.
Dr Kang: Mhm i see🤔 Hanbin-shii let me run some tests with you for me to confirm my diagnosis-, it may take a while~
Hanbin: Anything to make me feel normal doc~
*Dr Kang started questioning hanbin abt this and that -, he also runs an eye sight test on him*
Dr Kang: Okayy Kim Hanbin-shii, I've found the conclusion for my diagnosis, and it has proven that my diagnosis was right. Your depression level has worsened. You can't take the same type of medicine anymore. Even if you add on the amount of pills you take in a day, it still won't gives you the +ve impact. So here's your new medicine, bring this bottle everywhere you go. I mean it mister -, everywhere. Just take 2 tablets daily. This is to prevent you from going insane.
Hanbin: That means one is after i woke up and the other one is before i went to bed ?
Dr Kang: Yes. To prevent you from hallucinating too often take it everyday. If you think there's improvements with your behaviour, just took the medicine only when you need it. If things worsen, please come and see me as soon as possible.
Hanbin: I will. Please keep this as our secret don't tell anyone , not even my boss.
Dr Kang: Okayy. Take care now~

Hanbin went out from the clinic looking worried. He's worried that he might hallucinates again. He's afraid that people might know that he's mentally ill. 'What would happen to iKON if I'm not the one that's guiding them? Would they be successful now? Would they treat me the same if they now im insane? Are they going to pity me?', all sorts of strange thoughts were running through his mind while him and iKON's driver are on their way to iKON's house.

At the house.
'Yunhyeong hyung~ chanu-ah~ im home~', hanbin yells as he enters their house. Strange -, nobody's there. 'It's 19:30. They should be home already', hanbin puts his bag in his room and went straight to the kitchen to find some food. Hanbin didn't ate during the sec recess at school today. 'Why aren't you dying yet! Look there's nobody here! Everyone left because they hate you! You treat your members like shit in the studio and you're pretending to be all goofy with them when you're not practicing huh?', just as he heard the voices hanbin shivers and tries to find his medicine. He ran into his room to find it but the voices were making him feel irritated. 'Argh!', hanbin screams. 'Nugusaeyo?!', chanu ran to their house down stairs to look for someone to accompany him. He might be tall but he is a scardy cat. 'Oh bobby hyung! There's someone inside our house upstairs!', both of them went running back to their house. As they went in they saw the fridge were left open. There were also a tuna can on the dinning table, with the fire that's left open at the stove. 'Jebal! Leave me alone!', jiwon and chanu exchanged looks and runs to hanbin's room, unfortunately it's locked. 'Ya hanbin-ah! Hyungie-ah (it's me)! You okayy in there!', hanbin became cautious again as he heard jiwon's voice screaming outside. He breathes heavily a looked around the room. It's a mess. While he was trying to find his medicine he threw a lot of things and he doesn't even know why he did it. 'Hyung! You okayy?', hanbin came to realize he didn't took his medicine yet. He went towards his beg and took one tablet. 'Oh... Na gwenchana', hanbin stutters again. Without cleaning his room, he opens the door and finds those 2 people we're standing right in front of his room. 'Mianhae😅', jiwon looked at his room -, what a mess. It's so not hanbin. Hanbin would usually keep his room clean and tidy, unlike him. Jiwon looks worried. 'Ah i see I didn't turn the stove off haha 😅', jiwon starts to question hanbin, 'Why did scream? Why is your room messy?', hanbin tried to think of a good answer. 'Ahh there was a bug in my room. I couldn't seem to make it go out so I throw everything at him yeah 😅', chanu then questions , 'Then y are you sweating hyung? It's not even summertime', hanbin hesitates, 'It's nothing really~ I wanted to make myself tuna fried rice do you want some?', Jiwon looks surprised. ' Since when can you cook ?', chanu was shook too, 'Ah..ah it's my first time trying~ Want to be the first to try my cooking?', jiwon then offers to cook for them, since yunhyeong hasn't arrived yet. While cooking -, jiwon thoughts is getting wild. Worrying abt his cousins behaviour that has been very weird this days, Hanbin would usually just hang out with them and acts like nothing happens during their recording session. He laughs with them and say silly things, but since after they split houses, hanbin seems to have distanced himself from the members. Despite, he is still mad at hanbin for his attitude, he still really cares abt him. 'Here's your meal, mogoba(eat up)~', jiwon hands in a plate of tuna fried rice to hanbin and chanu, then one for himself. 'Tdorawa(comeback) kim hanbin~',  jiwon says softly while stuffing his mouth with the food.