I woke up drenched with sweat from head to toe. Alex's t-shirt clung to me like cling film and my hair matted against my forehead. That same dream haunted me every night. Every goddamn night. What frustrated me the most was that I didn't have a clue what it meant or why I kept having it. One thing I did know though, was that those blue eyes still stole the breath from me.
I looked over at Alex sleeping peacefully next to me. Why did he look so peaceful? I sighed, swinging my legs out of bed and tearing the t-shirt off of me. I needed a drink. The door to our bedroom made that horrible squealing sound every time you opened it and it grated on my nerves. I'd be sitting on the sofa, editing my photographs and working on my portfolios and Alex would be constantly in and out of there, opening and closing the door. He has a thing about shutting doors behind him, something like 'keeping our space private from prying eyes'. I wasn't to fussed about it at the start, until we moved into our new apartment.
I opened it the tiniest bit so I could squeeze through and walked over to the kitchen. It wasn't overly big, the kitchen was a 'U' shape with 4 bar stools and over the counter was the sitting area with an L shaped sofa and the tv. Behind it was a dining table and Alex's desk with all his paperwork and models on. The fridge held next to nothing, typical in this relationship. Neither of us were ever home for tea, with me being a photographer and Alex being an Architect, we rarely ever sat down since we moved. Water was the only option. The jug we had was a moving present from Alex's mom and it was nice of her but it definitely didn't match mine or Alex's taste.
Valerie or as she liked me to call her Val, was a very spiritual lady to put it nicely. When I first met her, all she insisted on doing was reading my 'story' and sensing my aura. I mean I'm not a anti-spiritual-voodoo-supernaturalist, but it made me very uncomfortable. At first she didn't like me, said my aura was to dark and my story too bleak. I mean she wasn't far off. Orphaned at birth and passed through the foster care system faster than you can blink. So sure my childhood was a little doozy and rough but I made something of myself at the end and that's why Alex says he loves me. At least that's what he says.
The jug was bedazzled with coloured stones frozen in the glass. Nowhere near matching the grey and navy blue interior we had picked. I chugged the glass of water before leaving it on the side and reaching for my laptop. I couldn't go back to sleep now, my dream was racing through my head.
My latest portfolio was littered with pictures of forests, blue seas and rivers. I was desperately trying to find the place where my dream had taken place but everywhere I looked didn't match up. It was frustrating.
My laptop screen lit up with life and the background made me smile. 2 years back Alex and I had taken a mini vacation to get away from his mother and her new and equally as crazy boyfriend. We'd flown to Brazil and explored the rainforest and planted trees. Of course there was the secret business side to it as well, Alex needing to finish up a project over there and with me being so interested in forests lately he decided to take me along. My background was of us smiling and we planted a tree, I couldn't remember what type but I kept a leaf from it and framed it in a draw somewhere.
I moved to the sofa and sat cross legged as I scrolled through the pictures again trying to keep my dream fresh in my head. I don't even know how long I sat there but soon enough the bedroom door squealed to life and Alex made an appearance.
'You okay Vi? Found my t-shirt and the bed sheets drenched. Same dream again?"
My eyes followed him as he made his way over to me handing me another t-shirt. I'd forgotten I was only in my underwear and come to think of it I was getting chilly. I smiled and took the t-shirt off of him before slipping it over my head.
'Yeah same dream. It frustrates me though because I can never ever seem to find where it is.'
He kissed my forehead and slumped down next to me. 'I know. We'll find it some day. Maybe it's a memory?' He yawned into my ear. Again I sighed, the thing is I don't remember anything from my childhood.
'You know I don't remember.' He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me over onto his lap.
'I know Vi.' He cooed as he lent in to kiss me and after tonight it was a kiss more than welcome. It was a tender kiss full of love and passion and when it ended I just stared at him. God I loved this man.
I yawned suddenly and checked the time finally. 3:37am. Wow earlier than I was expecting. I stood up, pulling Alex up with me and made my way back to the bedroom. It was dark in here and smelled of a mixture of my perfume and Alex's aftershave. Just the way I liked it. He rounded the other side of the bed and pulled the covers up so we could lie on top of them. The bed sheet was still wet from my sweat and we were both too tired to change it.
'Try and go back to sleep for me yeah? If your asleep when I wake up for work I'll cook you pancakes.' He yawned. I always loved these deals, because even though I sometimes couldn't sleep and I'd be awake when he woke up, he'd still make me pancakes anyway. I nodded and cuddled into him. Soon enough his breathing shallowed and I knew he was asleep. I didn't move. I knew he wouldn't wake up even if we had an earthquake but I didn't want to disturb the peace in the room. Just like in my dream.
No matter how hard I closed my eyes or how many sheep jumped over the fence in my head, I couldn't will myself back to sleep. The buzz from my dream was flowing through my body and every time I got close to drifting off it would shoot back up again and I'd wake back up with a jolt. I was fed up now. I mean why can't I just go to sleep?! Alex made it look so easy and I wish I knew his little trick of drifting off so fast. Val used to coo over him when I was there, getting out all the photo albums to show me once she got the gist I wasn't leaving. She'd tell me all sorts of stories like the time he lost his first tooth to when he ran around the garden naked with the hosepipe pointed up at the sky pretending it was raining. But the one I loved the most was when she would talk about him sleeping in her arms or anywhere around the house. She used to say 'My baby right here could sleep anywhere there was a surface to lie on and nothing would wake him up! Not even the hoover!' And I'd laugh as Alex smiled at fond memories.
