In My Hands, Know Suffering

19: Virgin Emotions

There were rare times during Castellone's childhood when his father would actually say something sweet for once. At him. Those times, he wasn't sure if something good happened in work or he was just feeling like it. It was unnatural for him as a boy. He would run to Kerxis to ask, but his brother wasn't always the open one in the family during those days.

There was no one he could really talk to in the family. It was like he was better off being mute for the rest of his life. He couldn't even approach his mother to talk about his father's sudden mood changes or anything at all, not even his achievements at school. He knew they always worked in tandem. If something wrong slipped from his tongue, it would often offend his parents. As a boy, he didn't receive much from them. Not even an equal amount of love. Not like Kerxis.

He wasn't abused physically. But his mental state changed. He grew up being distant. And however wordy he was, if he ever really was even talkative, they were clipped short. He didn't like taking long conversations. Not after meeting some of the people he actually considered friends. The ones who weren't even his relatives who openly accepted him.

To him, the world was a great big irony.

But thoughts of the past were rocketed straight to where he was standing now. In front of the runt. Did I heard that right?

Castellone bore his gaze into Abrielle's golden eyes. She wasn't the type to ask for favors from anyone in all the time he knew her. She may be small but she was a strong, independent lady who had too much pride like he did to even apologize for thoughtless words being spewed at each other sometimes.

She always watched him, making sure she heard everything he said, and although she couldn't really prevent him sometimes, she still made sure to put him in check. Sure, she was always mistreated, but there was something from her words that told him she really wanted it this time.

She was looking at him with an emanating sincerity that spoke so loud of the sudden favor she asked. It was not an easy one, she knew that, but she sounded desperate somehow. She was not doubting anything. He knew she wanted this. Truly wanted this. It made Castellone furrow his brows.

"Who did this to you?" He asked and noticed Abrielle's lips shivered in the slightest bit. She was beaten up bad, he could see a scar under her left eye, it almost appeared like a black eye. Her once calm features now appeared so fucked up.

Abrielle hesitated and looked away. What was she thinking saying that? Asking that? To him? Did she even thought for a second that killing Yustaine was going to resolve anything? If Yustaine was gone, she was most definitely sure that someone else was coming for her. To get her, and to make sure more dire consequences awaited her.

Her mind drifted to her parents. She shook at the memory of them. They didn't deserve that. They don't. Not ever. If anyone deserved punishment, it was her. The institution knew she was the real one who deserved to suffer all along. All because her parents sold themselves to them.

She knew they needed a place to stay, to get constant insurance, and a stable life. She knew they only did that for her. But, that was only the beginning of more favors. The more they stayed there, the more the need came from the institution. They wanted her, but her parents couldn't really say no. It was either her, or their lives.

She realized how stupid it actually was to have waited him there in the first place, asking him all of a sudden to just kill someone he didn't even know. But what the hell, he ordered people he doesn't know to kill themselves in the first place most of the time. Why couldn't she have been the one to have that ability instead? She knew a lot of people from underground that she truly wanted to eradicate from this world, to make it better. But she knew it was selfish as she only thought of herself and her own comfort if they were gone.