In My Hands, Know Suffering

23: Built To Fall

When a mind had drifted further than the physical present, one would simply stare into the space of nothingness that appeared to be the subject of a drifting mind. Though tasteless, and when the mind finds itself back to the present, it would dawn on that person what had been going on.

That thought alone left Abrielle's mind wondering further like it didn't make any sense at all. Which was true. She was settled alone on the farthest cafeteria table possible. She only had a neighbor on one side who didn't really know who she was, otherwise, she'd get either a sideways glance or audible insults. They were probably freshmen by the looks of it.

She's been staring at the phone she got and the wallpaper it contained when she had opened it last night. It was the photo of her parent's heads on a silver platter.

Each of their eye sockets were staring back at her with nothing but the darkness they held. Their mouths were agape and worms crawled out of them. Maggots lined their neck with dried blood in a gourmet-like fashion.

She clenched her fists at the grim reminder of how they met their fates. It was obviously a present from Yustaine. That, once again, had shaken her. She tried switching the display but found out that the system had been coded, and she had no way of changing any of its damn settings.

Looking at the photo of her parents that way had struck a part of her that took the courage she built to face the mission that was set for her ahead. She didn't know where to start anymore the more she thought of her parents. Why were they being so difficult to her? Why couldn't they just encourage her instead? Clearly, Sievetech was sending her a message.

She didn't need any more of their damn reminders. She knew what she had to accomplish. The only problem was, she didn't know how. Plus, she had fallen for Castellone. And now, she felt like she somewhat knew how the other girls felt about him.

She was questioning herself what she even saw in him. Was it normal? To her, it wasn't. None of the events that happened was normal. Not even the feelings she now held. She had lost her parents a few months ago, she probably thought that Castellone was a mere escape to get her thoughts somewhere else.

If it was, she was grateful for the distraction. But then her grief of not being there when they died, of not being the one to properly bury them, and everything else that defined the burden on her shoulders was just too much. She couldn't exactly say any of those to Siniyah either. In this world, she was definitely alone. In fact, she was the last of their bloodline.

She didn't know any relatives she might have outside. She knew both her parents were an only child. She had no cousins or people she could even call uncle or aunt. She was truly alone.

She covered her face with both hands and was about to scream in frustration but stopped herself. Tears filled her eyes but she knew that crying won't bring back what she'd lost. She had to stay strong if she wanted to survive the cruel world that brought her to life and left her to live alone.

"You look like you're about to burst out."

Surprised, she looked to the side only to meet the same stoic face that held the cerulean eyes she knew so well. She just stared at him without building the right words to even start a conversation. Her mind was filled with thoughts of her departed parents and how Yustaine had not given them a proper funeral.

Castellone was the least of people she wanted to see right now. But a part of her was relieved somehow. Like seeing him had elevated a small of her dying soul. Maybe that's what it was actually like to take interest on someone? How would she know? She's never liked anybody.

Castellone started to walk past her and noticed he was with his friends. They settled on the table in front of hers. His back was facing her while they told stories to one another. She stared at his back for the longest time. If anyone caught her stare, she knew they'd think his back was interesting, for her.