Above the Clouds (On Hold Indefinitely)

8. A Darker Side

A couple days have passed since Casten showed me his music room, and things have been going fairly well between him and me. He still remains distant yet he seems closer at the same time, Somehow, the days feel as if they've been going faster now that I'm just a bit happier. Perhaps it's because I don't feel as lonely; as if the part of me that I felt was missing is slowly starting to return.

I find myself in the music room more times than not, tinkering my way on the piano. I still don't have sheet music, but I do enjoy the coolness of the ivory keys when they meet my finger tips. Even more so, I enjoy the individual sound each makes. Alone their sound simply sings for a second before it's gone; together, though, they resonate. Sometimes I'll zone out in the moment, my surroundings disappearing as I play a combination of notes that sound as if they could be a song. When I come back to reality, it'll slip through my fingers like water. No matter how hard I cling to it, that sensation drips away from me.

I try to stay focused while in there, thinking that maybe I'll be able to remember aspects from my past if I try enough. So far it's been fruitless, but I still have hope. That doesn't mean my mind doesn't wander while I'm in there, though. I notice even the smallest of things. Like the fluffy, thick snow that falls from the sky. With the window as wide as it is, it would be impossible to miss such a sight. It's a nice break from the normal clouds. I so much want to reach out the window and catch one of the white specks, but the windows in here don't slide open. I wonder what it feels like? A deeper part of me wonders if I've ever felt snow before? Either way, everything now feels like a first time to me even if it's not.

Still, the blinding snow isn't the only thing I notice while in here. This one is not as noticeable. I mostly only catch glimpses in my peripheral, but I see enough to know. Sometimes lurking in the shadows just outside the open door, I'll catch a glimpse of a man dressed in dark clothes with hair and eyes to match. He never dares to come in while I'm playing. I don't acknowledge his presence, and I don't think he wants me to. He'd rather lurk in the shadows trying to hide from me, his expression always unreadable.

I've come to realize that Casten will do that often. He lurks and watches. He studies me, his emotions hardly ever distinguishable. It's almost unsettling. Maybe he is just that way by nature. He tends to not open up unless if I initiate, which is hard since I don't know much about myself to begin with. He must not know that the way he stares at me confuses me. It's as if he is trying to figure me out just as I am.

Even now as we sit at dinner in a dining room much too big for only two people, I'll catch him taking me in with those dark eyes again. Whenever mine meet his, he'll look away and continue to eat his soup. His hair is back to being tied back again, and since the day I took it down, he hasn't even let one strand be stray. He's dressed in red, a favorite of mine because it isn't as dark as his usual black.  I'm dressed in a dress of a similar color, the wool feeling itchy but warm at the same time. The neckline is made of a stiff lace, being a little higher than I would like.

This room is different from any other in this manor. Like many it doesn't have a single window making it feel so enclosed despite it being big in size. It has a large dining table that is much too big for two people. This is also room furnished with dark oak tables and chairs. A red runner lays across the length of the floor, and the table cloth is a creamy white. Even with all the furnishings and attempts at decorating, this room has a chill to the air like the rest.

What's special about it is that it's back wall is mountain, not blocks of stone. The architect craved into the mountain and built off of it, creating the base for the entire manor. The first time I saw this I was completely thrown off by it. It made me nervous, images of it caving in entering my mind. Since then, I've become accustomed to it. This manor looks to be centuries old. If it were to cave in on me now then I would graciously accept my fate. It would just be meant to be if something as unlikely as that would happen.