Breaking The Silence.

Keep it Moving only to be stopped again.

I heaved a heavy sigh and placed the rose on the casket. Out of everything that I had been through I think funerals scared me the most. I sat back down next to Maxwell and looked at him, his face looked very tight and I knew he didn't get a chance to cry. I felt bad for him, he had to bury both of his parents in the span of 2 years(mom and stepdad)Even though Maxwell didn't feel for his father he still loved him. We waited until everyone left to go to the recession at his house.
"Come on baby"He murmured,walking away from me. But I stayed where I was and looked over to the grave.
'Don't make me do it Selena"He whispered, walking back towards me.
I hushed him and gave him a hug, that was when I felt him break right in my arms. He wouldn't stop crying and that broke my heart so I just sat there and let him cry rubbing his back softly. I had to be the strong one now for the both of us atleast until we reached the house.
'Max,no crying,if she didn't want me crying we can't have you crying' I pulled his face to mine and wiped away his tears.
A week later our sign to move on was in the form of a lady named Kim. When I wasn't there she made sure Max didn't do anything overly stupid he tried to drown himself.
"He's doing fine Mrs.Maxwell, he's been taking his meds."Kim was an elderly woman of 60. I absolutely adored her she helped me through my depression stage.
"Mrs.Maxwell!"I heard a loud booming voice come from his office.
'Thank you so much Kim'I signed nodding softly.
"You need to tell him..."She murmured, in my ear. My heart started beating as I felt the tears well up.
I nodded my head and closed the door.
"Oh Mrs.Maxwell!"The sing songy voice rang again.
I sighed and wiped the tears before trudging to where he resided. He kissed my neck and pulled me into his lap.
"For every kiss you try and speak k?"He nudged my stomach. I pushed him away shaking my head.
"What the hell is your problem Selena!, Why the fuck won't you tell me what's wrong!!, Don't you see me trying!"He yelled in my face. I was almost scared to look him in the eyes, he was hurt.
'This is not the way to get me to open up, I'm not a whore.' I signed back.
"You were still working with Harold!, after I proposed to you, what do you call that! You're not trying because maybe you don't want to speak!"He grumbled, he swiftly got up and packed a bag.
I stumbled trying to reach the door.
'Where are you going?' I looked at him waiting for an answer.
"To my fathers house"He growled he pushed past me and walked out the door.
I haven't seen him since then, it's been 3 days. I didn't know what to do. The voice rang in my head again ..."tell him"
I took his car and drove to his mothers grave. I sat there and wept for hours deciphering how I would come to tell him this. So I wrote it in a letter.
Dear Maxwell,
Little do you know, I've been muted to silence since I was little. the reason for that is because I witnessed my father get brutally murdered by my own mother. They had been arguing and things got pretty ugly. I didn't even get a chance to tell him I loved him now you understand why my mother and I's relationship is so horrible. I was using the 'whore' money to take her to court when I was 16 but then I thought what am I going to do without my gold digging slut of a momma. I needed her so I held off on taking her to court and eventually I deleted the thought out of my mind. She's the reason why I'm like this.
xoxo Selena.
I folded up the letter and slid it in my pocket. I walked back to the car and drove off. I went back into the house and closed the door. Maxwell had come back he was in his office on the phone. I walked in the office and placed the letter on the table. I ran upstairs to find some pills.
I grabbed the first bottle of medicated
pills I could find and dumped them in my hand. I was just about too down them when I was pushed back hard. The glass shelf broke.
"What the hell are you thinking?"He yelled.
'I'm bleeding now because of my husband so I don't know what ...........'I signed
"I'm sorry Selena, I'm sorry that I pushed you so hard."He mumbled. He came over and helped me up. I was losing consciousness i could feel the blood oozing from my head.
"Call 911"I whispered before closing my eyes. Maxwell called the ambulance the last thing I saw was him being out in hand cuffs.
'Maxwell!'I said my voice barely above a whisper.
** 24 hours later **