Whomever

ten

A few weeks ago she gave me a song recommendation. I asked if she could write it down but we didn't have a blank pice of paper. She ripped a bit of paper from an old shopping list of hers. She writes her shopping lists in Spanish. At the time I didn't know a word of the language. Now I am learning it. I am learning a language so that I can impress a woman. I am so fucking pathetic. Why do I do this to myself? I say that ill stop loving her and then try my best for about an hour then go right back to loving her uncontrollably. She makes me feel alive. She gives me a purpose. I don't know why. I write poems about her, songs, even a book. All about this woman. Have I ever described her here? If I have I don't remember so I guess I will now. She is Latina but has really light skin. She has thin arms and her face is strong. A bit square but it suits her. The most beautiful hair I have ever seen on a human. Curly and frizzy, brown like chocolate. I think her eyes are brown too but I can't tell. She is like perfection in human form. Her laugh is beautiful and so is her voice. When she sings I melt and when she talks I get lost. It's like she has consumed me. Like she is a tornado and I'm a puppy. As I said before. Pathetic. I want her so much it's like i'm being stabbed all the time. Except when I'm with her, then it feels like i'm being burned alive. Red heat consumes me. She is like fire. I am wood. Weak and burnable. I am convinced that I will end up heartbroken and burned. I just can't find it in me to care.