Holocaust Girl

Joy and Sadness

Life is a mixture of joy and sadness. It seems like there is a lot more sadness than joy in my life, especially since the war started. However, I feel like that is going to change.

I went home for the first time in a while.. smiling.

In my stomach I could feel, butterflies. For the first time ever..

I think I actually like Alec.. which surprises me. I thought I was incapable  of liking somebody... of loving somebody.

I got to my room and wrote this down as soon as I sat down. This was a joyful moment in my life for sure.

But that ended as soon as a loud, sharp, knock sounded on my door. I tucked this diary under my bed at the last second.

Edgar appears, and he is furious.

"Rebecca, why would you back talk to Emily?" "You are to be nice to her!" "I didn't have to take you in you know!" He roars. He slaps me hard in the face, sending me sprawling. That's it, that broke me. I broke down crying, "If you don't want me here, fine I won't be a burden!" "I will be gone by morning." I sob. I start throwing my things into my two suitcases.

"Rebecca I am sorry, I want you to stay." "You just have to be nice!" He says coldly.

"I do everything for her, she is the ungrateful one!" I shake my head in anger. "I am leaving." I say fiercely, heartless as can be.

Edgar storms out of the doorway and slams the door.

Why? Why does my life have to be so horrible? I wish I died back in the ghetto or camp.

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I finish packing everything and slip out the window. I run to the store where I saw Alec earlier and broke down for the second time.

It would be better if I was just dead. I buy a rope, tie it into a noose and walk into the alley. I tie the rope onto a strong beam and sigh. I wish it hadn't come to this. I step onto a crate and slip my head inside.  I tighten it as much as it can go. I am to step off of the crate when I hear a familiar voice, Alec. I let go, just as he cut the rope down. He then cuts it off my neck and sighs

"Why Becca?" He finally speaks with a sad tone.

I break down in front of him.

"I lost everything, I have no place to go." I weep, embarrassed.

He looks at me and for a second I can see into his eyes, somehow broken like me.

"Follow me, you are staying with me." "I live alone." He says with no expression.

I decline at first but I know he won't leave me here alone. We walk in front of the marker to a tiny three room apartment, bedroom, kitchen/dining room, and bathroom.

In the bedroom two mattresses lay on the ground, you can tell one hasn't been used in a few months. He points to the one that looks like it was used already tonight. I nod and mutter a "thanks."

I fall asleep right away, it has been a long day.. that's for sure.

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I wake to one of my favorite smells, chocolate chip pancakes.
I walk into the kitchen to find Alec sliding the sweet smelling pancakes onto a plate.
"You sure can cook." I say, in between shoving more into my mouth.
"Yeah, I have been cooking since I was little." He smiles as he replies.
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After eating I take a shower and change into casual comfy clothes. Alec and I decide to walk down the farmers market and get some fresh strawberries while they are in season. It's almost mid August and fruit is perfect right now.
............
After a few minutes of arguing of who is paying, I win. I pay the small amount and go to head back to Alec's apartment when I gasp. Oh god it's Edgar, he's looking for me. I signal to Alec we need to go..now.
We take off running as fast as we can..I feel alive for the first time in awhile.
............
We get back laughing and lock the door. I am glad I'll be staying with him for awhile.
..................
Late at night we sit talking on our mattresses, just looking up at the ceiling.
Alec speaks first quiet as a mouse.
"My dad was killed in a car accident when I was three, my ma raised me since." "She died six months ago when the Nazi's dropped a bomb here." He whispered.

"My died died of pneumonia a year before my mother was killed in front of me, both died in a Ghetto." "They are buried there, which kills me." "Even though I know their souls are in heaven." I mutter.
I know we are both very broken, we both come from different pasts. But we connect... I think it was meant to be we found each other.
........................
"I am moving to America in September, I brought two plane tickets." "One was for my ma, but she can't take it.. wanna go?" "It's a small town fifty miles outside New York City." He asks but still speaks quietly.
My face lights up. "That would be amazing.. I've always wanted to live in America." I grin.
We both look at each other with a big smile before we fall asleep for the night.
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In the morning we smile at each other as I fix eggs for the both of us.
"How do you make your money anyway?" I ask curiously.
"I steal... from bad people." "I can pickpocket well." He says shyly we a slight smile.
I nod my head awkwardly as I set the eggs down and eat.
After a quiet morning I set out to go to my work, I sweep floors in a lot of shops in my area for a few cents. It gets me money and if you do a lot in a week you can get a few dollars if your lucky.
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The day of the departure.. September 2nd
I have managed to avoid Edgar and his little family since I left. Today Alec and taking a car to the airport.
We almost get a cab when I am shocked. Edgar is running towards us.. running towards me.
"Becca.. I have been so worried about you..." "Are you okay?" Edgar frantically asks.
"I want you to come back home." "We all miss you." He pleads. Alec looks at me like do you want to shut this dude up.
I really don't know what to do. Do I stay with Alec or go with Edgar?