✔ || Distract Me

Chapter 23

"I gotta be honest with you, Kookie, I thought for sure you were going to kill me at some point today," Taehyung smiled. "You must really like me."

Jeongguk pursed his lips. Taehyung had been unusually...cheery, even for him. It was glaringly fake. His smile was too wide, his laugh too loud. What was he hiding? When they were awake, Jeongguk was too delirious from exhaustion to question it too deeply, but now that they were in the safety of their dreamscape, he ignored Taehyung's teasing and said instead, "I know you're keeping something from me."

Taehyung's wooden smile faltered, "I would never -"

"Taehyung," Jeongguk said darkly. The elder winced at the use of his full first name.

"Kookie," he said slowly. "Please, just...I can't talk."

Jeongguk stared at him. "That can't possibly be true."

"Well, it is," Taehyung twitched, scratching at the back of his neck.

"You can," Jeongguk said slowly, "you just won't."

"Yes, exactly," Taehyung said.

"Why not?"

Taehyung's eyes fell to the fists he had made in his lap. When he looked back up at Jeongguk, there were hurricanes in his eyes. "I'm scared."

"Me too," Jeongguk said truthfully. When Taehyung gave him a questioning look, he elaborated, "I'm scared because there's something you won't tell me, and I'm scared that I did something to make you feel like you can't trust me."

Taehyung raised his eyebrows before releasing a shaky, humorless laugh. "No, it's not you. It's me, and I know that's cliche, but it's actually true." He looked away again and muttered, "I'm just really...fucked up, and I don't want to make you angry or scare you away."

Jeongguk knitted his eyebrows together, "Did I go too far today? I was exaggerating how angry I was about the hickey. And even if I wasn't, you couldn't scare me away."

Taehyung said carefully, "You don't know that."

"Yeah, actually, I do," Jeongguk scooted closer, but Taehyung stiffened, so he stopped. "Tae, jagiya, please talk to me."

The elder hugged himself, squeezing his eyes shut. Finally, after a moment, he murmured, "I can't." Jeongguk sighed and looked down at his lap. After a moment, Taehyung whispered, "I-I'm sorry."

Jeongguk's head snapped up and his eyes widened. Taehyung rubbed fiercely at his eyes and Jeongguk reached out to cup the elder's face in his hand. When Taehyung met his eyes, he said, "You can't scare me away. You can't. And there's nothing to apologize for, so don't. If you can't talk, then you can't talk. That's the end of it. For now." He offered a small smirk with that last bit, but Taehyung didn't return it. "Hey, hyung, look at me. Can I see your smile? You're so pretty when you're happy, it makes me want to just eat you up." He nuzzled Taehyung's cheek at that, making the elder grin despite himself. "What can I do to distract you?"

Taehyung eyed him. Then, fidgeting with the hem of his pants, he suddenly asked, "What do you like about me?"

Jeongguk blinked in surprise, "What?"

Taehyung frowned, "You heard me."

"I like lots of things about you, Tae," Jeongguk said.

Deflating, Taehyung said, "Forget it."

Jeongguk grabbed his wrist, capturing his attention. "Now wait just a minute, hyung. I'm thinking about how I can put your perfection into words, and I'm not really good at expressing my emotions out loud, so I'm sorry if it takes me a minute." The older boy blushed at that. Jeongguk finally said, "Um, okay. Let's see," he paused thoughtfully. "I'm going to tell you the things I love instead. So, uh, I love the way you fix your hair. And I love that you can tease the hyungs and they love you too much to do anything about it. And, uh, I love your little mole right here," Jeongguk hesitantly bent forward and kissed the small blemish on his cheek, eliciting a shaky inhale. "And the one on your nose," a kiss to the named feature, getting a little braver. "And I love your eyes," Taehyung's lids fluttered shut and Jeongguk ghosted his lips over them. "I love the way they widen and your mouth opens just a little when you're confused. I love when you get sassy with me, even though I don't act like I do. I love when you tease me, and when you play with my hair and my ears, and when, when," Jeongguk wetted his lips, overtaken with urgency, "uh, when you smile really wide and it looks like a rectangle. I love that a lot. And when you jump on me for a piggyback ride without asking, and when you walk behind me with your arms wrapped around my chest, which makes it almost impossible to walk but I don't care because it just means we're as close as we can get without taking clothes off," Taehyung snorted softly and Jeongguk grinned. "And speaking of taking clothes off," the maknae tackled the boy backwards, laying on his chest, "I love how gentle you are with me, but I also absolutely love it when you show your dominant side. Like, please do that more often. In life, and especially in bed." Taehyung blushed, running his index finger down the maknae's jaw. "You're so incredible, Taehyung, and I'm not sure how I can show you how much you mean to me, but I'll keep trying until you can at least get a vague idea."