3 Words

I've Told You Now

3 Words

I've told you now

"I've... I've... I... I... I can't say it."

"Please Jess, you're killing me here. I promise we can work out whatever it is"

"I've been paying Carmen money. To stay away from you. I'm sorry"

"Wow" I said completely astounded.

"I was just so worried that when you came round, you'd go back to her. I didn't even know if you'd remember me."

"I honestly don't know what to say. And don't even get me started on Carmen, shows what kind of person she is if she can be brought out of our friendship."

"I am so sorry. Are you mad at me?"

"I think mad is the wrong word. I'm just shocked" I said honestly.

"But you do still want to be my girlfriend"

"Of course! I guess in some kind of fucked up way, it shows me how much you wanted me."

"I'm sor...." But before Jess could even finish her sentence, I softly kissed her lips and pushed her in closer under my arm so her head was resting on my chest.

From that moment on, we made a pact to each other to always be completely honest, no matter what. And I said that I didn't ever want to hear about this again. My plan from this day forward was for me to just ignore Carmen, then Jess made a good point that I'd have to talk to her, since she's still currently living in my house and looking after the dogs for me. That's when the big C word came out. Jess asked how I felt about commitment... As in taking us to the next level. She suggested that we moved in together, well, that I moved in to hers. She insisted that it would be better for the dogs cos they'd have a massive garden to play in and assured me that they could still have their own bedroom. And I guess it did make more sense since I'd been stopping at hers for just over a month now anyway. The only thing that stopped me from jumping at the chance was my job. Jess did say that I could have a job with her, as her driver. And it would mean that we'd get to spend all of our time together and that me and Carter could travel with her. But I don't know, I've only known Jess for a couple of months now. And I know lesbians usually move quick but this was a whole new ball game. I was worried that spending so much time together could actually destroy us. What if we started bickering all the time? What if we got sick of each other? Nevertheless, I took a chance and agreed to give this a go. Not only would I get to see her everyday, Carter would have an amazing life and that's something I wanted to give him more than anything, and I knew Jess would be the same. Just as we finished the conversation, Dave jumped out the car and opened the door. We'd finally made it home. Jess carried Carter in to the house, while I grabbed the bags. He was fast asleep so Jess put him down in his moses basket. As she put him down, I walked up behind her and held her, softly kissing the back of her neck. We both stood there, looking down at Carter, who looked so peaceful. Jess turned around to face me then took me by the hand and started leading me upstairs. I presumed she was taking me to the bedroom, but once we hit the top of the stairs, she let go of my hand and covered my eyes, leading me to a room I've never been in before.

"I've got a surprise for you... Don't open until I say so"

"But I don't like surprises" I whined, obviously lying because I was too impatient to wait.

"Just give me a minute" Jess replied while rummaging around the room a little.

"Okay, open them" she whispered down my ear, wrapping her arms across my stomach.

I couldn't help but burst out crying as soon as I opened my eyes.

"Oh my god. It's beautiful Jess. I don't know what to say"