3 Words

Introduction

3 Words

Introduction

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sienna Rose. I'm 24 years old and I'm a support worker in mental health. I can't lie and tell you that it's something I've always dreamed of doing. It's just something I happned to fall in to. It was after meeting this guy that went by the name of Tony. I met him at a bar one night. After a long day of handing my CV out, I was tired and not having much luck. I guess the recession had hit England a lot harder than I first thought. See I'd been travelling the world for the last 2 years. I had enough one day, packed all of my things and left the country. Without looking back. And yes, as you might of guessed, I'd broken up with the love of my life. See on my travels I discovered that most peoples journeys began after experiencing heartbreak. I don't know if it was the sudden sense of freedom, or if they were like me and they just wanted to run and get as far away as possible.

Anyway, I'm going off the track a little here. I'm going to apologise in advance because I tend to do that a lot. My mind is like Jenga. You know the game where the little wooden blocks form the shape of a tower, then you have to take a block out and put it to the top? Making the tower grow taller, but less stable. I guess my mind grew in to this Jenga like comparison because it was a bit all over the place, like when the game is over and the wooden blocks are scattered around everywhere.

Nonetheless. Back to the night I met Tony. I grabbed myself a drink at the bar then went and sat down on the sofa. I slumped down and made myself comfortable, ready to reflect on how my day had gone. I hadn't even been sat there for 5 minutes and I saw this guy making his way over to me.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I take a seat" he said.

"Of course not" I replied.

But the only thing going through my mind was I'd rather you didn't. My brain and lips were clearly having communication problems that day as I said the complete opposite to what I was actually thinking. It's not that I was anti-social or anything, I just wasn't in the mood to make polite conversation with strangers. I was feeling pretty low and tired of getting rejected for jobs. I didn't know where my life was heading. But I had no idea that night would change my life forever.

I'm so glad I actually gave Tony the time of day. We sat talking all night, right up until the early hours of the morning. And even though I'd only known him for a few minutes, I felt like I'd known him my entire life. He had this way of making me feel completely at ease and he just listened to me most of the night, talking about myself. I opened up to him about my struggles finding work, even poured my heart open and told him all about my past relationships. Which is something I find hard to do, even with my friends, let alone complete strangers. But I think he felt the same way towards me, like he had known me for years. Because he gave me some really good advice. He told me that I should consider getting in to care work. He said he could tell that I had a lot of love to give, but I was wasting it with the wrong people. And that I should focus on giving that love to people that would appreciate it and that really need it. Which made perfect sense to me because I wouldn't end up getting hurt like I normally always do. When I'm in a relationship because I'm willing to do so much for that person, I'm always a little disappointed when they wouldn't do the same for me. Not that I ever give to receive, I just noticed a pattern, it was always one sided. No one was ever as dedicated as me. But I guess that's just our generation these days, I was quite old fashioned when it came to love. And wanted one of those relationships that would last forever. I just have to add that this thing I had with Tony was completely platonic by the way. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong end of the stick, but I'm not interested in the opposite sex. I must have forgot to mention I'm a lesbian. Tony said he knew that anyway, as soon as he spotted me. Not because I looked butch or anything because I don't. I'm actually quite girly, I get compared to Cheryl Cole quite often but my eyes are strange. Some days they look brown and other days they look green or hazel. I have dark brown hair which I always wear curly or wavy, I stand about 5 ft 7 tall, I'm very tanned, I like to consider myself as an athletic build, I work out 6 days a week. The only thing you may consider butch is the fact I have an addiction to tattoos and I have 2 full sleeves. Tony said that wasn't what gave me away though, it's the way I would only look up and check the women out as they walked by. He noticed 3 or 4 guys walk past while he was observing me and my eyes never wandered, only with the ladies.

To cut a long story short, I had to reluctantly say my goodbyes to Tony. I had to be up for an interview tomorrow or technically in just a few hours. But as Tony left he scribbled down a number on a peice of paper and wrote "Helping Hands" above it. He told me to give them a call first thing and to ask for Andrew. Tony was confident that they'd give me a job at this care place he was familiar with.

The same morning, afer getting very little sleep, I called and spoke to Andrew. He seemed very keen on the phone and wanted me to pop in to the office for a quick interview. It collided with my other interview but I followed my gut and decided to go see Andrew at Helping Hands. The interview went amazing and I finally did it. I got the job. I learnt Helping Hands specialise in mental health and provide care services in the service users own homes. I was glad it wasn't a residental place, you see all sorts of things on the news about them. But my job role was straight forward, we just had to support service users with the day to day things, like food shopping for the week, cooking them breakfast, lunch, dinner or planning activities to fill their days up, just to get them out of the house and back in to society. A lot of the service users have previously been sectioned but are trying to live a normal life in the community now. That's where we come in and help out. I was really excited about my new job. But on my way out of the office, Andrew asked curiously how I heard about the position. That's when I told him about Tony. His face suddenly changed colour and he asked me to take a seat. But nothing could prepare me for what he was about to say. He informed me that Tony had actually commited suicide early hours that morning and that he was one of their clients. He'd suffered with mental health problems since he lost his wife aged 40. I felt sick and wanted to get out of there. I burst out crying and I just couldn't believe I didn't pick up on Tony's sadness, maybe I could have saved him? Andrew done his best to reassure me there was nothing I could have done. He told me that they've been working with him for 8 years now and even they hadn't picked up on anything. But I still didn't feel like I deserved the job, how could I possibly be responsible for caring for someone when I can't even tell if they was feeling low or sad? I hadn't known Tony long at all but I was devastated. I felt numb and moped around doing nothing but think of him.

About a week or so later, I received a call from Andrew at Helping Hands. He wanted to check how I was doing because I left the office quite upset. Plus he wanted to try and persuade me in to taking the job. He said that Tony had a special gift, he could meet people and within 3 seconds he could tell if someone had something special. According to Andrew, Tony has recommended people in the past that are still within the company and are some of his best employee's. He pleaded that obviously Tony saw something in me and that I should at least give it a go. So I did but only for Tony. Now 3 years have past and I'm still working in mental health. I've been promoted to a team leader here too.

And in a way, I think Tony was my guadian angel. I know it sounds so lame to say out loud, I kind of cringed as I typed that out. But this guy sorted me out, in more ways than you could ever imagine. From that day on, I was more open with people... I actually gave everybody a chance rather than keeping myself to myself. Plus he fixed me up with a job and if I wasn't in this line of work then I would never of met her, and by her I mean Jessica Cornish. Better known as Jessie J, the singer.