Tsubaki-San [English/Englisch]

~Chapter Two~

I hold back at first, but my worry grew again, I had to see him, now. "Tsubaki!", I screamed as loud as a I could with my quavering voice. My hands cling to the parapet, in the hope to see Tsubaki. Felt hours passed, felt days maybe went by as I heard a familiar laugh that laid around my heart. "Tsubaki! Where are you?!", I looked around, tried to find him... Tears continuedly flowed down and leaved a deep emptiness. "I'm everywhere and nowhere Kasai ~", different shadows played tricks on me, his voice in reach but I couldn't see him, only contours and shadows of him. "T-tsubaki this isn't funny! Come here, please!!", I said quietly and shivering. I closed my eyes and held my head in my hands, my thoughts were torturing me. A hand was slowly placed on my shoulders, Tsubakis face came nearer, I felt his breathing on my neck. I opened my eyes rapidly and turned my head to him: "You're alive... You're alive!" At this moment, tears of joy streamed out of my eyes, Tsubaki looked at me, and said nothing. "Why didn't you continue to cry out... How boring...", he held his right arm in front of his face and turned his head away from me, so that his mouth was covered. "B-boring?", I said quietly for myself, looked at him the whole time. "Don't you have a...", Tsubaki wanted to ask for another story, but didn't he see how shattered I was? I stood with tear-stained eyes in front of him and he asked for a story? After I've desperately yearend for him? How... "You demand a story? At a time like this?", my fear turned to fury in less than a second. Tsubaki on the other hand looked bored at me. "Get lost.", I snapped at him, "You understand nothing at all!" I flounced past him and slammed my balcony door shut. Tsubaki still stood like rooted outside, just realized what've happened right now. As he did this, he turned around and looked after me. "Kasai? Kasai? Why won't you tell me a story today?", he pounded against the door and I looked at him dead in the eyes, do he even have a bit of compassion? Didn't I mean anything to him after all these years? "Kasai! Open up!", he continued to knock at the door. I stood up and got to the door, his looks brightened up but I still saw no empathy in them. I opened up a window so he could hear me, but still he stood outside. "Tsubaki. Listen carefully, okay?", I looked at him and he nodded.

"Once, there was a small girl, she went to the third grade. She went to a very religious preschool because her father wanted this.", I made a small cut and Tsubaki continued to listen. "At one point of the class, the teacher spoke about the deadly sins, there even was a priest so that they could cleanse the classroom after that.", I laughed briefly, what confused Tsubaki noticeable. "Please continue telling!", he pleaded.

"The teacher started to talk >The seven deadly sins. Sloth. Pride. Wrath. Gluttony. Envy. Greed. Lust. These are the seven deadly sins. Should one of you ever has something to do with one of these, than you'll meet a severe destiny.< The girl was confused. What is so wrong about them, she asked herself. Then the teacher continues: >So, children, who of you thinks that the deadly sins are bad now?< and all kids held up their hands, with their pure mind, that they never ever want to do something with them in their whole life. >Good children! All of you know what's right!< and one small girl crushed the ideally class. "But you forgot someone, Misses Teacher."" A tear runs down my cheek, but I have the most heartwarming smile I could've mad at this moment. Tsubaki on the other hand didn't seemed to understand an first, he pondered and I continued with the story.
">There are only seven, like you could guess from the name. It would be bad if there were more of them!< And the girl again: "No you forgot an important person!" >Don't you dare continue talking about!< "But I'm only defending a person, is this a wrong thing?" The glance of the priest was on her. >To defend someone isn't bad. No, not in any way. But the deadly sins aren't humans!< "But they are vampires! Who's coming told me everything about his seven siblings! All of love for example!" The priest was talking with the teacher, they looked terrified." I wiped the tears out of my face and Tsubaki slowly began to comprehend, his tears started to take over him in the moment.
"She went directly to me. Took me with her, and no classmate saw me for a week. Till today I see the wounds on my skin. Where no one else is going to see them ever." I stared on my arms, then I looked up and smiled for Tsubaki. "I always justified you. Even when it hurt, I defended you and your siblings, the priests thought a demon possessed me..." He understood what I just told him a second ago, and he also couldn't hold back his tears anymore. "What did they do to you... I... I don't know what I should say...", Tsubaki hold his palm against the glass. "Physically, psychologically, a whole lot. As a kid this was way too much, but I stayed unwavering..."; I continuedly cried and pulled my knees near. My smile slowly broke apart. "Open the door Kasai! Pleas! I want to be next to you, hold you in my arms!", Tsubakis voice was shaking, I didn't fully listened to him, I just stood up and moved as if I was directed by my mind to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and locked it, at this point I was dazzled, Tsubakis loud voice got silence behind me. In the bathroom I searched through the lockers, hoping to find a blade in there, it's two years since I did it the last time. Even though I never did myself deep wounds, I did it anyways. God, how much I thought about what would happen, if I just make a cut through it all. The last thing I would remember would be Tsubaki, that I confessed everything now. "Where are you... dumb blades... Dad always has blades here..." Barley said, I found them, I quickly tried to get one, but while doing so, I cut myself in the pointing finger. "More cuts", I laughed shortly, while thinking about how pitiful I was. I was a worthless human being.