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"so how have you been?"
i finally had time to go on a friendly date with her. of course, we were both masked up. i do feel guilty because she had to cover half of her beautiful face for me.
it did take me some time to convince her to hang out with me though.
"very fine, thank you."
i sensed her smile through the mask as her eyes were shaped into crescents.
"are you coming for the finals?"
i prayed day and night for her to say yes. but, she looked like she was hesitating as her sight shifted to somewhere else.
"i don't know actually, jinyoung-ah."
it's been long since my name rolled off the tip of her tongue. it was perfect.
we stopped by a less-than-crowded cafe for a drink before continuing the day. it seems like her taste hasn't changed as she ordered the same drink like she always does.
"and i assume you want the usual?"
i gave her a nod before staring out the window. a couple walked past as the girl was clinging onto the arms of the boy. how i wish i could feel that all over again. i want to turn back time. they entered the same cafe and sat a few spaces away from us.
"enjoy your drinks."
i picked up the straw and started sipping as i observed the girl sitting opposite me. her actions reminded me of the past. her picking up two packets of sugar for her cappuccino and then stirring it ever so slowly whilst being deep in her own thoughts.
"is it possible for us to, you know, get-" "yes, jinyoung. it is. but not right now. i still have many things to think about." "like what?"
i knew i was being a little impatient but i really wanted, no, needed her to be by my side. she was the one who helped me get through more than half of the survival show and now, she's just gone and i'm barely clinging on.
"please just give me a chance. give us a chance." "i think we need some time to figure us out."
she stared right at my eyes as tears were threatening to fall out of hers. i looked down at my drink and continued sipping on it.
i really wonder what's holding her back.
"you know, jinyoung, if you debut, i have to be hidden forever. this is, if we are together." "but i can make this work. i want to make this work. we can announce this publicly. i'll protect you." "no, jinyoung, you can't. i hope you understand where i'm coming from."
only time can tell if she is willing to be with me through thick and thin. even if i debut, i would never let her slip through my hands, not again.
