Utatane Piko x Reader - Trapped

Chapter 3

"Hello"

I stared at the boy blankly, not knowing what to do. I hadn't ever spoken to anyone near my age before, so I didn't know what to say. I cleared my throat, uttering a small "Hello" before dropping my gaze down to my food, conservatively nibbling on it.

The boy regarded me quietly. He opened his mouth, then shut it, picked up his food, and then opened his mouth to speak.

"I've noticed that you always sit here, and alone. Why don't you sit with the other kids?" He finally asked, then stuffed his mouth with a large bite of sandwich, as if to keep himself from saying anything more.

I considered my answer carefully, tossing the words around experimentally in my head. Finally, I came up with a decent reply, that didn't sound too sarcastic or pitiful. "I don't get along well with the other kids." And I stuffed my mouth full with sandwich. The more accurate answer would have been that all the other kids I had encountered (even outside of the HC) hated me. I had grown to like being alone. No one threw retorts at me like a farmer scattering seeds. The peace and quiet of solitude calms me. I've found that I'm skilled at blocking things out; things like emotion, people, and events. To me, it's a necessity.

The boy looks at me with dismay, and I can feel a wave of anger washing over me. I glare at him; I don't want his pity, I don't want anyone's pity. The boy jumps a little, and I feel a sickening wave of satisfaction wash over me, and before I know it the boy is clearing his throat, picking up his tray, and walking away. I am instantly torn, half of me wants to laugh, and be happy of the riddance, the other half wants to yell after him, beg him not to leave me, tell him how desperate and lonely I am. As soon as I recognize that feeling, the one of longing and loneliness, I squash it, labeling it as weakness. I can't afford to be weak. I can't afford to let the emotions get to me. I tell myself, full of determination.

That night, I can't sleep; there are tears streaming down my face, but I'm oddly calm. The only thing I can feel is regret. Throughout the day, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had done. All I had ever wanted, for as long as I could remember, was to have someone to talk to, to have someone that wouldn't look at me with either pity, hatred, or rivalry. I sucked in a breath of air, as I thought, All I've ever wanted was... a friend.

And with that word, the dam broke, and all the built up emotion inside of me came flooding out. I couldn't stop myself; it all poured out, and I began to sob. I cried until my eyes hurt, and my diaphragm hurt from the unnatural breathing. I cried until there weren't any tears left in me, and until I was so exhausted, that I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, and I fell asleep.