Deeper • Rilaya

7: A Repeating Cycle

Riley's POV: It's midnight and here I am laying awake in my bed. Thank God I don't have school tomorrow because I'm pretty sure I won't be able to stay awake in any of my classes. This isn't the first time I've been sleep deprived either. Two days ago I couldn't get any sleep and ended up having a full on snoring session in my dad's class. My dad woke me up and jolted awake with a trail of drool on my chin. I was so embarrassed.

The same reason for my sleep deprivation then is the same reason why I'm being sleep deprived now.

Maya. She's always on my mind especially at night. Sometimes I just stare at the bay window, waiting for her to climb through and try to convince me to sneak downstairs to have a Red Planet Diaries marathon. We would cuddle up on the couch and quietly giggle at the jokes that were said and gasp at the shocking parts of the show. I remember her scent, strawberries and vanilla  with just a hint of the outdoors, and how it would fill my nose as I cuddled into her side. She would laugh and move away from me, but I would move even closer and eventually should would give up trying to keep the distance and sling her around me.

I remember her warmth. I seem to always be too cold or too hot but Maya was always the right temperature for me. Almost as if she was some type of doctor and knew everything I needed. She's my hero. She would throw a blanket over us and lay her head on top of mine, crinkling my nose as the ends of her long blonde locks would tickle it.

She would look down at me and ask me "You wanna go to bed?" as my eyes start to droop. I would slightly shake my head no but she just rolled her eyes and threw my arm around her shoulder and slowly help me up the stairs to my room. She would stay in bed with me until I fell asleep, stroking my hair to help me fall more into the precious daze. And in the morning, she's the first thing I see. It's crazy how that could all change.

I remember one night where something liked that happened. It was somewhere in our sophomore year of middle school.

I was awoken by a light knocking. I opened my eyes a little and waited to hear the noise again. I heard it again and turned over and saw my bestfriend  motioning  for me to open the window for her. I threw the covers off me and made my way to my window, opening it quietly so that my parents wouldn't hear and let Maya in. Once she was in, I closed the window and waited for a reason for her unexpected arrival. She just put her hood down, took off her sneakers and started getting into my bed. Something was wrong.

"Maya?"  I asked  trying to get the blonde's attention. She didn't look up at me but she responded with "Please don't ask any questions Riley. Just let me sleep here. Please?" 

I mumbled a quite "Ok" and climbed back into bed, but I didn't go back to sleep. I couldn't. Whenever something is wrong with Maya i always have to get to the bottom of it.

I laid there waiting for the right time to speak up, but every time I tried to even let out one letter I had a thought that would stop me. Usually when this Maya sneaks over to my house at this time of night she would tell me what's wrong immediately. She wouldn't hold back. We would talk and I would comfort her and then we'd fall into a peaceful slumber. This time, however, was different. Maya was closed off and distant. She didn't even look at me when she came in.

Eventually my ongoing frustration of starting conversation ended after the blonde laying next to me decided to speak up.

"Riley please just go to sleep. I can't handle your fidgeting." I heard her say and noticed then that I was running my hand up and down my opposite arm. I stopped my motions and looked over at her. Her back was facing me and all I could see was her grey hoodie and her long hair flowing over it. "Maya what's wrong?"

"Go to sleep Riley."

"No, no I'm not gonna go to sleep until you tell me what's bothering you and don't say that it's nothing because there is something bothering you Maya." I said as I stared at the back of her head. I could still almost see the scar from when she got hurt skateboarding so long ago. I heard her groan and she got onto her stomach. "Ok fine. I had a fight with my mom and I didn't feel like sleeping over there. There I told you. Now can we go to sleep please?" She asked in a annoyed tone and pulled her hood back over her head and stuffed her face into the pillow.