Hidden Truth//Kylux

Why?//5

I reach my room again at the end of the day. I am greeted by the same dim lighting and black walls. I stare at the canvases on the wall that are painted one color, black. How creative.

I take off my helmet and the rest of my robes off, until I am left with a bare chest and under clothing. I walk to the bathroom and stare into the mirror. Luke is right. I'm young and inexperienced. If I'm so young and inexperienced, then why send me here? Stupid Luke.

I glare at my reflection. I hate myself for already giving up. I hate myself for being selfish. I agreed to this so I would stop thinking about 'bad memory'. Stop thinking of his complete and udder betrayal. Not because I wanted to help my mom and Luke and the rest of the rebellion. I'm doing this for a distraction to get away from my thoughts of him. Stupid Poe.

I push away off the counter and crawl into the familiar sheets that I am almost used too. I miss my old room. I miss everything. I even miss Luke from time to time. The worst part about this is I don't even know how long this is going to be. Luke said I will know when it's time, but how will I know if I can't even contact him? Stupid Luke. I don't even know if he is fully there. He may be crazy.

I push the thoughts of Luke away. How can I hide it from Snoke if I'm thinking about it all the time. I shut my eyes tight and wait for sleep to take over my body. It doesn't take long.

I finish the last details of Poe's hair. He is going to love this drawing. It's been a couple days since I have seen him. Since we kissed by 'Jedi river'. He asked me to give him a piece of my art but most of them are of him. I didn't want to be embarrassed and say that, so I told him I would draw one. I finish by shadowing his lips and shading in there beauty. His lips. I plan on giving it to him right after I'm done. I love the walk to his house and my dads not home so I'm certain my mom will let me go. 

"Ben." My mom peeks her head around my bedroom door and weakly smiles.

"Yeah mom?" I set my sketch book behind me so she won't see.

"We need to talk when your father gets home." She walks in and sits on the edge of my bed.

I tuck the sketch book more behind my back and sit up a little straighter. "What about?"

"Well." She looks down and then looks back up at me with slight hint of tears in her eyes. "We should talk about it when Han gets home but I want to talk to you before he does."

"Mom. What do you want to talk about?"

"About Poe."

My face suddenly heats up and I become very nervous. "What about him?" I push the sketch book fully behind me and underneath my pillow. I could never let my parents see it now.

"Some one saw you two kiss by the river."  She looks at me expectingly

"Who saw? Who told you that mom?"

"So it's true?" She looks at me like she's about to burst with impatience. But not in a bad way, in a very concerned way.

"Mom, we told each other that we love each other."

"Oh Ben." My mom scoots over to me quickly and wraps her arms around me crying. "Ben."

"What mom?" I push her away slightly and tears are threatening to fall from my own eyes.

"You know how much I love Poe and I know how close you two are, but this can't happen, you two can not happen."

I hold back my tears and anger is slowly rising instead. "And why not?"