Hunting Hubris

Domino to my doom

I told you so

The phrase that everyone hates, right? The most subtle yet hurtful taunt. Reminding that things didn't go right, you aren't good enough and you have failed.

And it breaks people

How would I know?

Cause I was freshly broken.

"Understand Sam, we are helpless. I have a girlfriend who has been waiting and hoping that I would attain fame and financial stability to convince her parents into approving our relationship. Symphony's parents are already disappointed with her choice of career. Rio is a married man who ought to support his family.

And now we have found a solution to our problems, a path leading to our dream. We have been selected as one of the finalists, considered for launch. The first success we have earned after years of tears, insult, disappointments, taunts and unfulfilled dreams.

Do you think we could afford to lose this chance? Lose this hard yearned golden ticket just because of you being imprudent?

The only condition he has put forward to let us into the finals is to oust you from 'Ensemble'...

I know I'm being..."

The nonchalant flick of my hand stopped Alex from ranting more about his decision, their decision.

Ensemble did not need Sam anymore.

The message was loud and clear, I did not wish to crush my heart furthermore by hearing my trusted friend deliver it.

I was no longer the soul of Ensemble, just an impediment to its success.

With a final smile I bid adieu to Ensemble and my friend.

"I will have your dreams crushed"

Darian Dara was a man of words for sure. Not only did he crush my dreams, he snatched my right to breathe by breaking my confidence, my will. Wasn't there even a shred of potency inside me to put up a fight? Was I that weak and worthless? He made me feel so small, I feared life. A girl with no identity, no value, no voice.

A nothing...

They told I'll fail and I did...

I wanted to wail, scream out my frustration, cry out my helplessness. But I couldn't. I felt numb. The same numbness that I felt when father left.

Was it bad?

I don't think so, cause it kept the pain at bay.

Could things have been different if Dhruv had been with me now? Would he have fought for me like I did for him even if he came to know I'm just a spineless coward?

Would Arjun have consoled me if he came to know about my state? Even after me spewing poison over him?

Would you have saved me from all these betrayals if you had been with me? Would I have been saved from the pain?

Mom would know. Mom always does...

I wanted to veil myself with her love. She would blanket me from this malevolence. She could have a solution. She would help me out.

She will save me.

I ran towards our home, to my saviour.

Our mother had a troubled yet deep thoughtful look clouding her serene visage. Maybe she knew I lost.

I ran towards her, trying to embrace her and cry all my troubles out. But she did not return the hug. The mother who must have lost it on seeing my disheveled state remained unusually and terrifyingly calm.

When I detached myself from her to get a proper look, I was confused. Because for the first time I saw her eyes glisten. She looked exhausted, ready to fall, to wail.

She looked defeated.

Finally when those orbs looked into mine, they emitted hate. Disappointment with an intensity that could burn me alive.

And a slap resonated as a sharp pain spread across my cheek.

"How dare you!" She wisphered.

Throwing a small stick over my face, she stromed out of the house.

It was a white plastic strip with two pink lines which I used that morning. The strip that made me make hundred continuous calls to Dhruv's non-reachable line.

A pregnancy strip that showed a positive result.

I told you so... It was Arjun's voice inside my head.

And I welcomed the numbness this time. It was soothing.

The time crawled. I could see the light fading into dusk and stars chasing away the Sun. But there was a shimmering glow. Twilight protecting me from the dark night.

I haven't moved an inch since mother left fearing that I would break. Neither the dimming light, nor the shrill mobile ring could break my trance.

But then the door was banged open and Arjun ran in. Tears streaming down his face and a look of terror ruining his innocence. He shook me out of the stupor, yelling and screaming.
Finally my mind processed his words

"Mom met with an accident"

And the glow faded as I was engulfed in complete darkness.

Numbness was good...

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