Beastly Beautiful (On Hold)

| Chapter 12- Laney |

| April 2, 2018 |

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Happy Monday! This chapter is one of feels...the good kind...at least towards the end. That's all I'm saying ;)

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| Chapter 12- Laney |

*They say change is great or horrible sometimes. But they forgot to add how painful it could be for both.*

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I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't used to short hair. It's always been long for me. Even in high school. Maybe when I was younger I had short hair once upon a time, but my mom always said my hair was prettier long. I agreed.

However, my long hair symbolized Laney, supposed Wicked Witch of the Set. Yeah, I've heard that nickname many times in the background. They never knew I heard it. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or bad that they didn't call me that upfront. Good for them maybe.

I ran my fingers through my hair, marveling at how abruptly my fingers cut through the air a few seconds later. I reveled in the softness of my hair and lightly smiled. It was time for a change. I should try to become a better person. I mean Jace has been nothing but kind to me. His family, besides Sabrina, are still watching out for me despite the hole I left and the internal damage that was created with my distance.

I sighed and rested my head against the chair I was sitting on. I looked up at the ceiling and examined the plain color. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. Maybe nothing. Maybe I was looking for something to do. Finally, an idea hit me.

Leaping off the chair, I walked to the little drawer next to bed and picked up my phone. I had a lot of missed calls from random numbers, from 'friends' in the acting world, and a number I wish I could forget.

Ignoring them all, I went to my contacts list and dialled the number I haven't used in a while. I placed the phone to my ear and sat on the bed with one leg crossed and the other hanging off the bed. The line rang a few times before my mother picked up.

"Laney girl?" she asked in a slightly worried tone and I smiled.

"Hey ma," I greeted and I heard her give a breathy chuckle.

"Hi baby girl. How are you?" she asked in a slightly excited tone and I couldn't help but feel excited. I haven't talked to my mom like this in what feels like forever. Why again? I wasn't too sure at this point.

"I'm actually...good," I responded in slight disbelief. 

And for the first time in a while, I actually was. Even though it's been a month since being here, I was strangely happy and peaceful. The stress of being perfect and living up to the acting name I made for myself got to me and that might've been the reason I became who I was in the acting world.

"Oh my girl I'm so happy to hear that! Oh, hang on, Susie wants to talk to you," my mom answered and I felt my throat constrict as she mentioned my baby sister. She was only two when I left at eighteen. She should be five right now.

"Lay-Lay hi! It's Susie," she called into the phone and I choked up. I was a horrible sister. I never talked to them. I only shot texts to my mother. I rarely asked about my family when I helped raise them. What kind of monster was I?

"S-Susie baby hi!" I exclaimed as I tried to hide my shaking voice. I don't think I was doing too well. 

"How are you Lay-Lay? I miss you. When are you coming home?" she asked innocently and I blinked back the tears. My throat felt dry and I heard my mom's heavy breathing on the other side.

"I," I began but cleared my throat. "I don't know baby. Maybe soon," I replied in a strained voice. I couldn't do it. I couldn't talk to her without breaking down. It hurt too much.

They say change is great or horrible sometimes. But they forgot to add how painful it could be for both. I had changed for the worst. I ignored my family, shut the people who loved me out, and became an entire different person. Why? What for? What did I accomplish by doing that?

"I gotta go now. I love you all...know that," I finished before hanging up. I then tossed my phone to the side and took deep breaths in and out, trying to calm myself down. I wouldn't cry. I shouldn't cry. I couldn't cry.

Yet, despite telling myself that, traitorous tears slipped from my eyes and landed on my clenched fists, my breathing escalating as the tears began to flow freely down my cheeks. I covered my mouth as heavy sobs racked through my body. My sobs were muffled by my hands.

My eyes were clenched shut in pain and one of my hands went to my chest where my heart was twisting painfully. A low groan echoed around the room as I leaned forward on the bed, my face scrunched in the blanket. One hand continued to clench near my heart as if trying to relieve the hurt while the other was grasping the blanket to try and steady myself.

I wasn't aware of the door opening and a person slipping in until I felt a hand rub soothingly on my back. A warm arm lifted me up and pulled me into their embrace, their hand smoothing my hair back from my tear-stained face.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry," I choked out as I let Sabrina rock me back and forth. "I'm so sorry," I kept chanting as she continued to rock me.

"It's okay, it's okay Laney," she whispered as she smoothed my hair back, hugging me tighter to her as she tried to comfort me.

My cries still echoed around the room as I let everything out. All the pain and hurt I locked away. All the remorse and guilt I felt about turning everyone I loved away. All the disgust and anger I had towards myself for being who I didn't want to be. Who I said I'd never be. All of it was let out in the room with Sabrina holding onto me like an anchor to a ship to keep it from drifting away.

And with that, I felt myself calming down until exhaustion swept over me and I found myself sniffling into sleep's embrace with Sabrina's warm arms keeping me close. I fell asleep to her words of forgiveness and her own apologizes for the way she had treated me in return. 

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*sniffles* I-I'm okay *bawls* 

But on a more serious note, what do you think of Laney cracking? Who knew all it took was one small person to bring down the big bad wolf? Now the question is, will she remain as this new/old self or will she revert back to the beast? 

Oh and what did you think of Sabrina being the one to comfort her? Makes me wonder, how many of you thought it'd be Jace? ;) 

Let me know what you thought of this chapter by commenting and voting! And do tell friends about this story if you think it's worth more reads. Thanks!