IT's why I am recording. -COMPLETED

Rewind.

Evelyn POV:

For 2 months... I've been like that.

I lay down on my bed, listening to the radio as a song that was really familier and right for this moment came up

I know you've got the best intentions
Just trying to find the right words to say
I promise I already learned my lesson
But right now, I want to be not okay

I'm so tired, sitting here waiting
If I hear one more just be patient
It's always gonna stay the same

I started to think about all of these kids that one day they were happy and free and in the other one were gone

So, let me just give up
So, let me just let go
If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like   

I wonder what really happened to Georgie... I know he's dead but... Is his soul restless? Is Pennywise hurting him?

Can't stop these feet from sinking
And it's starting to show on me
You're staring while I'm blinking
But just don't tell me what you see
I'm so over all this bad luck
Hearing one more keep your head up
Is it ever gonna change

So, let me just give up
So, let me just let go
If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice, or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like

Don't look at me like that
Just like you understand
Don't try to pull me back  

I looked at Shell, Who was eating from his lettuce

"Do you think the guys miss me Shell?" I asked him as he bit his lettuce, He blinked at me and I just looked up at the ceiling, Thinking about the guys.

Let me just give up
Let me just let go
If this isn't good for me I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know what it's like

I wonder how Mike is doing? Does he think about me? Does he miss me as much as I miss him? 

"You don't know what it's like" I mumbled the last words with the singer 

"Hey sweetie" I looked up to see mom and dad standing there.

"Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing here? I thought you're in at work" I said in confusion

"We decided to take a day off, The real queation is what are you doing here?" Mom asked and they both sat down with my between them

"You didn't come out of the house for 2 months and you're always so quiet, That's not our little girl, What happened to your friends?" She asked, I looked down

"I made a mistake" I hugged her, trying to find comfort

"Shh... Tell us what happened" Mom asked and stroked my hair, I told her the story and at the end I found myself lying my head on mom's legs

"I didn't want to hurt anyone... I didn't know what to do" I told her quietly 

"They're still your friends no matter what, And I'm sure they understand now, They had a long time to think about this" She said

"How can you be so sure?" I asked her as I got up and sat again, Dad pulled out something from his pocket

"Well, There's this" He said and gave it to me, It was an envelope, I slowly openned it.