Shudder

7

I awoke in the morning like I usually did -- screaming. I was scratching at myself and let out wails, trying to find reality again, when my door burst open.

"Rori!" a voice shouted.

I wasn't screaming anymore, but I was still scrubbing and scratching. I wasn't back yet and I struggled to find my way.

Hands gripped my own and I was immediately slammed back, my eyes cleared, the blood I 'saw' evaporated and in it's place was hazel eyed Cole, who stared at me with wide eyes and a severe frown on his eight year old face.

"You okay?" he asked, shocking me. I had expected him to demand he tell me what I was hiding, demand what I was having nightmares about, anything, but 'was I okay'.

I shook my head no, but mumbled, "I will be."

Cole nodded and released my hands. He stood there watching me for a bit, making sure I really was okay and then nodded, walking towards the door.

He paused before leaving. "I'm here for you, Rori. We're family now, remember that."

His words rang in my ears once I was alone and I shoved myself to my feet. I shut my bedroom door and hurried into the bathroom, needing to scrub the sweat, not blood off me from my nightmare.

As I showered I realized this was probably the first morning I awoke and wasn't scrubbing 'blood' from my body. I wasn't making my skin raw and I wasn't forcing myself to get it together -- I was together.

And it was all because of Cole, my adoptive brother.

Because he came and asked if I was okay, because he hadn't asked about the nightmares, because he didn't pressure me into talking about it, because he wasn't Claire and Dean..

My lips formed a smile and I knew I was going to explain to Cole about my nightmares and how I came to live with Claire and Dean and I knew I was making a good choice by letting him in.

**

After I showered, slapping on some make-up, mainly eyeliner, thinking of Roman and hoping maybe, just maybe somebody like him would find someone like me attractive. I had successfully ignored the jabs in my head that said no matter what I did I'd still be repulsive and quickly dressed in the usual undergarments. I donned a fitting, white zip-up hoodie with a black tank underneath and some ripped skinnies.

Satisfied I looked better than yesterday, I padded downstairs to the kitchen and found Cole seated at the bar, devouring some waffles.

He glanced up as I walked in and reached down to the lower section of the bar on the other side where another plate rested and sat it beside him. I quirked an eyebrow and he quickly swallowed the waffle in his mouth.

"Eat. Dean told me you don't like to eat in the mornings."

My lips curved into a smile. "Did he now? Speaking of Dean, where is he?"

"Getting ready, now sit down and eat, please," Cole said, eyes innocently wide as he begged.

I laughed then and sank down beside him. He was just finishing up his food as I started mine. He slid from the stool with his plate and cup, quickly rinsing them and grabbed a new glass and filled it with OJ. He slid it over to me and I looked up in surprise.

I swallowed my bite of waffle. "You didn't need to do that."

"But I wanted to," he murmured, smiling slightly.

"Thank you."

He nodded and came around to sit next to me. He twiddled his fingers nervously and opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, but closed it, shaking his head.