Shudder

31

I awoke breathing heavy, blood seemed to glitter before my eyes again and I struggled not to wipe at everything. I knew what I'd been dreaming and this nightmare must have bad to have me in a ball of sweat, heavy breathes and visions of blood.

I worked hard in the dark to shove down the lump of fear and emotions swirling inside me. I found it strange that in my nightmares I still referred to them as The Men when I knew in reality they were Jaecars and obviously they weren't all men. Something about that thought allowed my breathing to slow and the bloody redness to fade as well as the need to scrub myself raw.

This was the second night in Yorik's house I'd had a relapse of nightmares and I'd had enough of it that I didn't want to sleep right away. At least not until I'd calmed down. I rose after wiping away 'sand' from my eyes and slumped down the stairs to get a bottle of cold water from the fridge. On my way there I noted everything was quiet, so quiet it unnerved me just like the quiet in my nightmare did. I shuddered and walked a little faster to reach the fridge.

My fingers gripped the cool plastic handle of the fridge and tugged, the door popping open with a shick! and spilling light over the tiled kitchen floor. The quiet made me want to get that water ASAP and run back to my room. I reached out, curling my fingers around the chilled water bottle and lifted it. Just as the fridge door was shutting, I felt fingers slid along my arm.

I whirled around, a scream on the tip of my tongue and met Roman's concerned, blue eyes. I sucked in a ragged breath and blew it out, so hyped up after my nightmare.

"Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that!" I exclaimed in a whisper-yell, completed with a nervous chuckle.

"Are you okay?" Roman said, not bothering to be quiet. He knew the rooms were sound-proofed and so did I, but the quiet of the night made me feel like I needed to be too.

I nodded, fingers loosening around the water bottle I'd clutched in fright before. The bottle crackled with relief and it seemed to concern Roman more as I watched a crinkle form between his brows. His hand came up and touched my cheek, my eyes following his hand all the way up to his blue eyes.

"Okay, fine...maybe I'm not okay. I couldn't sleep.." I murmured, wondering how he'd come about to lurking down here himself. "Why are you up?"

"Woke up wanting a drink, seen your room door open and came down. Was it the nightmares?" he asked seriously as he stepped away and grabbed his own bottle of water. It seemed as though he was giving me a way out, a way to run in case I didn't want to talk again, but this time I wanted to...after all he'd told me, it was finally fair I did the same.

I clutched the bottle again and whispered, "Yes... it was the nightmares."

Suddenly his hand was back in mine and he was tugging us up the stairs. He stopped to close my bedroom door, saying he didn't want the pack to worry, and then tugged me into his own. He released my hand, shutting the door and walked over to the bed while I stood stock still, unable to move in fear he might try to...bond with me despite the wants and desires I harbored, I just wasn't ready for that yet. I hadn't even said I'd loved him, for christ's sake we just shared our first kiss!

My nervousness must've been obvious because Roman began to chuckle.

"I didn't bring you here to bond, Rori," Roman grinned as I winced slightly. "We did just kiss for the first time a few days ago. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to take that step with you, but only when you want to, only when you love me -- if you ever will -- and only when you feel it is right. I brought you here to talk with me, though if being in your bedroom makes you feel more comfortable we can go back."