I Hated Everything About You (Larry Stylinson) [Completed]

Chappy 19

After 18 chapters...finally mething getting somewhere- I just don't know where yet.

I think it may not be a good thing if the author goes in a chapter with noooo idea what she's about to write...

yikes, this could end badly :/

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_Harry_

Oh my God- my life was over.

The new friends I'd managed to get would now officially be completely grossed out with me. They would hate me- and even if they didn't because they were nice blokes who didn't discriminate like that, they would definitely be uncomfortable around me.

I could see this going one of two ways. Either: I would get completely hauled out of One Direction, my chances over, Simon pissed, and the boys not even able to look at me as I left the house. Even if the boys couldn't bear to tell anyone, Katie had overheard it and would tell the entire world, ruining my life. DAMNIT, why was I born like this. Ugh. I put my head in my hands, feeling tears burn in the back of my eyes. This was horrible. Louis especially was going to hate me, now more than ever. The look that would always be in his eyes when he saw me made the tears actually fall into the dirt.

And, if by some miracle, this didn't get out, and didn't ruin everything, and the boys pretended it was fine, it still wasn't going to be alright. Liam no doubt would give me the  "we don't judge you" speech, the boys would all hastily nod, but they would be looking everywhere but at me- God, it was going to be so embarassing having to face them again!

(A/N ---> YAY! I just decided where this was going! WOOOPP)

And the others may try their best to hide thier disgust and awkwardness behind fake smiles and phony hugs, but ever since that stormy night I have been able to read right through Louis' expressions, his little smiles that don't always reach his eyes, and certainly won't cover anything up now when he looked at me. Let's not forget Niall was easier to read than a book- he was more like a television- he said whatever he was feeling, no matter what. The thought of that happy-go-lucky little leprachaun hating me...I shivered as tears ran down my face.

I should just leave now, there was no point in pretending everything was going ot be fine. Anna- God, her big (cute) mouth and complete lack of tact. I didn't blame her- they were going to find out some how I'm sure. All those girls I pretended to be with...all those friggin nights with Flack- and for what! I let my stupid emotions out one night, I kiss the one person I ever cared for so passionately, and everything folds into this big mess.

I jolted up. Did I just admit my feelings for him? I hadn't meant...I wasn't aware that...I had even made up my mind about how I felt. When did my heart decide this, and why didn't it include my brain in the decision making process. 'Cuz if I had known where this was going, fuck, I never would have allowed it. I would have rationalized everything and distanced myself from that boy with those adorably blue eyes and his cute little dimples...

But that's what I had been doing, wasn't it? Right from the start I had convinced myself I hated him, maybe to hide the fact that I immediately loved his personallity. I loved how funny he was, how childish he could be, but how caring and understanding he was. Usually- I didn't expect him to understand what I put him through now though. He was amazing, but not a friggin miracle worker. He had wanted answers, maybe to make sure it was all me being drunk, but I hadn't given them to him. Now, it felt like I had lied to him.

I felt horrible, as I sat on the bench on some bike trail, my tears hitting the ground beneath me. Eventually, the sky decided it was sad too, and I was drenched from head to toe almost instantly. Louis loved the rain- maybe he would be outside now? I thought about his silky hair that was always straight (did he ever have a hat-day?), and his blue eyes that always looked happy (even when he was down), and his smile, and his body...