i think ill die obsessed ; gawsten

1. crybaby

-awstens pov

ive been on tour for about a week and half now, its been going great so far.

not for me though.

im currently laying in my bunk, listening to sleeping with sirens, trying to get over my new ex girlfriend who had cheated on me.

shits tough, yah know? especially when you really were in love, and planning to marry the girl. but she had to turn around and cheat on me. i gave her all my free time and love, and she repayed me like this?

what i dont understand is that she booked a flight to come to the first show. after she told me that, the next day she texted me. saying she doesnt love me anymore, and that she was cheating on me, for the last few months of our relationship.

we spent that time with endless amounts of cuddling, going on dates, doing coupley shit and all that. but little did i know, she was cheating and not in love with me at the same time.

i didnt even text her back, i didnt want to. i was with otto and geoff when she had sent the text. we were out having dinner. they noticed i shut myself down after i was in a middle of a stupid made up story.

they tried asking what was wrong, i didnt even want to say anything i was so shocked. i just handed my phone to geoff and walked out of the restaurant. i didnt even know where the hell we were, considering this was a new restaurant in town. i was about to walk down the street until i decided that was a bad idea and just walk on the side of the building.

i was hearing my name being yelled, but didnt do anything about it. they finally found me, though. they handed my phone back to me and just gave me a big hug. otto was the first to pull back. geoff was the one pulling me into his lap and still hugging me as he whispered sweet things into my ear.

that was normal though, he knew me better than anyone. but she knew me better. i trusted her with my life. biggest mistake of my life. there's no telling what she will do with all of that personal information.

after that, the rest of the night was a blur. i remember geoff asked me if i wanted him to stay with me that night. i didnt speak to him, at all.

he did keep talking to me, though. telling me he will take me out to do my favorite things, telling me im better than her, and i dont deserve what i got.

i loved her a lot. shit, i still do love her. i cant even phantom to hear what the fans are saying or thinking. i havent been on any socail media since that night. geoff took over the waterparks accounts, which i didnt mind for him to do. a few fans asked me if i was doing alright, but i just nodded my head, saying i was doing great. little did they know i was lying straight through my teeth.

i dont want fans to worry about me. i dont want anyone too. i hate that thought. i dont deserve to be worried about. itll just end with backlash in the mean time.

i was close to falling asleep, but i didnt even notice i was crying until geoff pulled an earbud out of my ear. i looked over at him but was still way too deep in my thoughts to comprehend on what he was saying.

i finally snapped out of my thoughts when he put his hand on my cheeks, making me slightly blush at the sudden touch."awsten, buddy, listen to me. please," he says softly, looking into my teared up eyes.

i mummble a quiet 'what' and hear him sigh. "whats wrong, youve been crying for some quiet time now?" i rub my eyes and shake my head, not wanting to be bothered by anyone at this moment.

"just thinking," i quietly say, keeping the conversation short so i wont go off on him. geoff sighs again and starts to rub his thumb on my cheeks, making sure to not get tears down onto them.

"aws, if its about her, shes no good. i know its difficult to get over breakups, especially how yours turned out, but try to not think of her, okay?" geoff says, still keeping eye contact. "please, for me at least?"

i shake my head, already over this conversation. i move geoff out of my way and get off my bunk. i make sure to grab my earbuds and my phone so i can go for a walk. "thanks, geoff. but, i cant. she meant too much to me," i say, leaving the bus.

i open twitter, making a comback.

@awsten
THANKS FOR MAKING ME BECOME A BIG MESS OF SADNESS. FUCK YOU.

i resume my music, and begin to walk.

god knows where ill be walking in this town i know nothing about.