i think ill die obsessed ; gawsten

6. mr. doctor man

i havent felt this feeling at 100% in long time. i never knew i could get this submissive either. learn new things everyday, especially with geoff. but, it sucks i have to be quiet since everyone is on the bus and it being four in the morning.

well, you might be thinking. awsten, what in the world could you be doing at four in the morning? well, we have one of those buses with a, sorta, big room in the back. we use it for storage. ironically, theres a bed. a bed that geoff takes advantage of, especially right now.

but, to answer your question. image that youre on cloud 9 and can only feel pure pleasure. pleasure from a man, (or woman) but for me a man who really knows how to please you in so many ways. who is on top of you and has your wrists above your head so you wont be able to touch him. who is giving you many, many, many kisses all over, but for now your lips. his free hand touching you all over. who is just simply making you feel way to good.

but what makes me feel weak is when he whispers into my ear and kisses my neck after. it takes everything inside of me to not make a noise because for fucks sake this man knows how to please me way too good.

didnt fully answer your question? well, lemme go in detail. right now, you already know my wrists are being held up above me by geoffs hands and his free one roaming my body. besides that, hes whispering things into my ear and god forbid me to slip a moan out of my mouth. since i cant really touch him, my legs are hooked onto his and he doesnt mind that, thank god.

i can tell you want more, love.

that followed up with a kiss behind my ear and my wrists to not be held with his big hands. geoff looks up at me, see me nod with a needy smirk on my hot red face.

are you sure? we dont have to do this. im only aiming at kissing you everywhere.

i nod my head again, grabbing geoffs face as i lean up and manage to get on top of him. he smirks at the sudden action, making me kiss him harder. i felt the need to have some sudden friction, so i casually start to move my hips. geoff enjoys that, i can tell from him grabbing my hips.

i move down to his neck, but decide to leave him off there. "im tired," i slip out, earning a heavy sigh from him. not a bad sigh in anyway. a sigh that you can tell he was holding his breath, something i couldve done when under him. i do kiss his neck then his lips and see him nod. i roll off of geoff and cuddle up to him.

i lay my head on his chest and geoff wraps his arm around me. i find a comfortable spot and feel content when i do. "geoff," i softly say out of the blue, hoping he was still awake. i hear a hmm? and look up a bit. "i think im almost over her. i cant tell how, but i finally feel best without her," i say, drawing random shapes on geoffs stomach.

geoff clears his throat before speaking and starts to play with my hair. "thats good, aws. especially in your situation since it got to a point where you almost badly broke down." i dont recall telling him i was so so close to breaking point, but it mightve slipped up at one of my freak outs. "i could really tell you were hurting. it hurt me to see that, honestly. im still trying my best to bring you back to life again so that life wont suck for you. i want to be the reason youre so god damn confident and happy that you need to let everyone soul who passes you to know. i wont do that whole i want to be the reason thing a hundred times, but know i just want to be the reason youre happy, love."

and with that, i was alseep with a smile on my face.

after what seemed like two seconds, but was really a few hours, someone barges into the room. someone being otto. i keep my position cuddled up to geoff the same and pretend to be asleep up."what the fuck, guys?" otto says, earning a soft groan and laugh from geoff.

"otto, please. lower your voice. awsten is sleeping, he didnt have a good night last night so he needed some comfort, alright? we arent fucking or anything, he just needed to he held as he slept," geoff lies, making me smirk but neither can tell.

i can feel otto shake his head and hum. "alright, well we have soundcheck in about three hours. thank god were in houston tonight, i missed this place. anyway, were planning to grab something eat, so wake awsten up. everyone is getting ready and we know the princess takes his time to get ready," otto says leaning down to mess my hair up. i groan, tightening my grip on geoff. i hear a faint laugh from the both of them. otto leaves and geoff wakes me.

after a while of getting ready, i threw on a random hoodie. ironically, it was our yellow double dare hoodie. thank god that thing is comfortable. i was the last one off, but everyone was ahead and geoff sneaked a quick kiss before i fully got off.

we decided to eat at buffalo wild wings, a favorite of mine. i ended up ordering some wings, obviously, and some fries. everyone was in their own conversation as i was on twitter. i know no one has my post notifications on, besides geoff, at this table. so i take my time to make a quick tweet.

@awsten
HAVENT BEEN HAPPY IN A WHILE. FEELS NICE ESPECIALLY SINCE ITS CAUSED BY SOMEONE YOU LOVE. LETS HOPE NO ONE WONT GET IN MY WAY TO CRASH ME DOWN.

i lock my phone and hear geoffs phone buzz. he checks it, smiling down at it. he knows thats about him. i see him typing in the corner off his eye and then proceeds to carry back the conversation he was having with otto and jawn. my phone buzzes so i check that. a reply from geoff.

@underscoregeoff
i wont let that happen, flower.

i blush, hard. i see all of the replies, seeing everyone lose their shit. some freaking over the gawsten content and some feeling happy that im happy. i smile, going back to my feed. i scroll for a while until i get a text.

ciara 🌿
kissed up to him, huh? well, i find that very pleasing. especially when youre blushing at that reply. might seem creepy, but you might end up freaking out when youre at my job. i advice you to get out.

and like that, my heart stops. my chest hurts. i look around, locking eyes with her. she smirks with her head on her hand. i didnt waste anytime to push geoff out of the booth, earning a what the hell, awsten? and walk up to her. this is a bad idea. thisisabadidea. i went to say something, but she stops me and grabs my wrist. "dont even start. i dont care what you have to say, buddy boy." and like that she lets go of my wrist and i hear a loud oh shit in unison. im frozen, i cant move. i cant breathe properly. i cant even get my eyes off of her. suddenly i feel someone grabbing me and carrying me into their arms. its geoff. everyone follows him and he puts me into the bus. i hear everyone get into the bus and then i hear a yell from otto.

dont you fucking dare going back into there to attack her. itll make awsten worse, geoff. for fucks sake.

i dont hear geoff say anything back. all i know is that otto gets in the bus and sits beside me. he helps me this full blown usless panic attack, thank god. but what i want most isnt here. hes sticking up for me. im thankful, but i dont want that right now. i want him to tell me that it was a dream. that everything will be okay. that im fine. that ciara didnt mean anything.

i want him here. i cant help but to yell at otto to bring geoff back inside and to leave with full blown tears streaming down my face. otto shakes his head, he knows that geoff is stubborn. he wouldnt just stop and come back inside and leave his point in the dust. geoff will come back when hes done proving everything he needs to. soon, i hear geoff and ciara outside. geoff is yelling. ive never heard him yell like this. ciara is laughing. otto puts earbuds into my ears and plays sum 41. he hugs me too.

just when i thought i was over her. this happens. this always happens when i get happy. something comes slamming my way and turns my life around. i dont need this. i need over her now. i cant deal with her. i cant. i cant. i cant. im back to breaking point now. icanticanticanticant.

i need him back inside. i need his comfort.