*Sexual Content*
"I promise I won't fall in love ever again."
Promises are meant to be held within our hearts, they are never to be broken or said out loud. But sometimes, promises like the one that Emma made to herself are meant to be broken. Espec...
Thank you all for being so patient I will explain everything at the end of the chapter! I got my computer to magically work! Thank the lord!
Anyway! I hope you enjoy I think this will be a nice quick easy read I promise to bring more in Chapter Thirteen!
~Make sure to VOTE, COMMENT, & FOLLOW ME~
Song of Chapter: Viento de Cara, by Supersubmarina
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Being in a room full of unknown people isn't torture, it's just oddly strange. I can't say that I enjoy it, but it does bring me comfort. It's good to know that I'm not the only human trapped in a somber world filled with memories that I just hope would leave my head sometime soon. But it isn't torture.
What really is torture is having to be seated with a man that makes your heart flutter and your memories revive themselves from the back of your mind.
Christian hadn't said a single thing to me since the little peck on the lips that he had given me before dinner, but all I knew is that I wanted more from him but I knew that it would never turn out the way we both would want it to be.
I was hoping that somehow this group would yet again help me. Even if I was never meant to end up with Christian I still needed to understand how to control these memories and how to stop them from affecting what I want in my life. I needed to move on, but I had no clue how to do it.
I felt useless.
My mind kept coming up with these questions to be able to understand why certain things triggered me and how to control them, but it just ended up worrying me more.
My questions consisted of:
Why does Christian cause this effect on me?
Will this always happen with everything and everyone?
Is this all because I had sex with Christian?
Will my life always consist of these dark dramatic episodes?
Will this happen with every guy I find attractive or even like?
Will I carry this with me throughout life?
Why do I have to deal with this?
Haven't I had enough?
He should've just killed me!
"Emma, are you alright?"
I looked over to the driver's seat and see Christian looking at me. I can tell that he's slowly trying to read me. He wants to know why I'm like this what makes me feel this way. And the only excuse I can think of is that I'm insane, and I'm starting to believe it.
"Emma, I'm here for you just talk to me."
"No Christian you aren't here for me, because you don't know me! You're just infatuated by the way that I look but you know nothing of me. You only know that girl from back at the club and honestly, I don't even know her myself so I can't tell you much about who she is or how to get her back."
Christian just held his eyes on me until the light turned green and then he sped off. I finally felt as if some weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
It was all true.
Christian had no idea who I really was.
To him I was just that pretty girl from the club, the one who dove into his bed like it was easy, but that wasn't the real me that was just a character that I wished to be because I was and will always be trapped in this body and mind of a girl who can't let go of her damage.
I rest my head on the car seat and close my eyes, I was done fighting with my thoughts for now.
~*~
The minute I set foot through the door of the building I was immediately met with a hug from Doctor Rafferdy.
"Emma I'm so happy to hear from you again, how have you been?" He asks.
"We both know I wouldn't be here if I was doing good," I say to him.
"Well don't worry we will get through this, so many people have pushed through these rough moments in their lives and you can and will too." He says releasing me from his embrace.
As much as I always acted as if I hated him, he always did make me feel better which is why I enjoyed spending my time in the support group even if sometimes I didn't even share my thoughts, it was just nice to hear him speak of something that you've been wanting to hear.
"I see you've brought someone with you, may I ask who this might be?" He asks.
I look over my shoulder and see Christian standing awkwardly over me. I had told him to leave me here and then to come to meet up with me afterward to pick me up. But he had insisted to come in and support me as if the rest of my equals in the group weren't enough.
"This is Christian, he's just... an acquaintance." I tell him, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.
"Well, we are happy to have you here Christian it's good to know that we have people that surround us in life that really care. I know sometimes it's hard to accept that we have others that really want to be there for us but in the end, the people that push you away will soon understand how much you truly mean to them." Doctor Rafferdy looked me in the eyes with a look that said "I know what's going on" and then he turned around leading us to the white-walled room that usually held our meetings.
I took a seat on a yellow plastic chair and Christian took the one right next to me and brought his lips to my ear and at the moment he whispered:
"I am here for you because I want to get to know you, I don't know how much I mean to you but for some reason you mean a whole lot to me."
Those words suddenly blossomed something deep within me, something that I was confused but not scared about.
Something I knew that was good.
Something I knew that I would love.
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A/N:
Guess who's back! Okay I know it's been a long while. But, the reason is all because of my laptop. It has been broken for awhile, it just refuses to connect to my WiFi, which becomes annoying after awhile.
But today, I finally got it to work Thank God!
So anyway I hope you like this chapter! And thank you for being so patient!
