After her very holy breakfast, Pat decided to go to Gods home. As she sat in a pew she heard someone talking somewhere within the church. She got up and wandered around attempting to locate the voice.
"Hello? Jesus is that you?"
She spotted the holy wafers beside the wine. And decided to eat a handful damn were they good snacks.
When she picked up the wine to wash it down, the large cross behind her shifted. It revealed a SecRet PassAge wAY?!?
Clearly this must be a test of her faith pat thought. Reluctantly she marched down the passage way, torches lit her way. Ah lights the light of Christ is lighting my way she began saying her secret prayers.
"Holy Jesus damn ur a snacc, hopefully I can serve u wellll, just like mAryyy! Holy crackers are very tasteful plzz light my wayyy kumbayaaaa AhmEN!"
"Wtf was that"
"JESUS?!?"
"No you walnut it's me Barb"
"Barb? Oh the lord has taken your form! HOW MAY I SERVE YOU"
"Pat whAT thE shIT"
Finally Barbara had enough and snapped her fingers. " Well I guess your just in time, you were our target in the first place. Carol take care of it"
Suddenly a robe was pulled over Pats Head. " what the HU- "
"Good thing we put chloroform on the host, she's always snacking on them."
Barb made a "idk" gesture as Carol questionably glanced at her.
"I'll bring her to the ritual room, we will soon all have what we want".....
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50 Shades of Abstinence
RomanceSister Patricia was the newest nun in the batch. She always dreamed of becoming one, and never expected that her covenant with Jesus would become so much more after discovering that her church is actually a CULT?!?! Edit: This has become an absolute...
