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I couldn't call him mine no matter how hard I tried.
There were nights I cried, times I'd lie awake and take apart my heart to try to restart it, but its hard, and it never really gets easier.
Overthinking old memories to make sure I wasn't being too foolish.
Wishing I could just act on my feelings, but being so childish and hiding when it came to trying it.
I'm not surprised, but I don't know why fear can overtake what I think is right, and how I'm more in love with my imagination of us than pursuing the reality because of that.
It may be a bit silly of me to keep these thoughts to only me and I may be destroying our future by withholding love we might need now.
Not that I think he'd scold me, I'm sure he'd probably appreciate the boldness, overall, this whole thing on love is confusing.
I'm not really good at communicating or letting people love me.
However, this wonderful being is like moonlight splattered on a puddle, something of small art occurring naturally.
And it seems that when I think of forever with him, I'm terrified at how we will get there, and everything in between.
I can see the big picture and chase a dream, but when I look at each individual piece, I get overwhelmed and my anxiety gets the best of me.
I wonder if he knows I love him,
and if he loves me too;
if lovers can be in love but not
be together, too.
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