our love wasn't the type of love that fades away, it never was. we stuck together like glue in more ways then one. every touch made sparks light throughout our bodies, lighting up the whole world, sparks flying and shining like stars through the sky until one lands down onto the next person, enlightening them with the same feeling.
love was a gift and we had it. the love didn't fade away no matter what. the kisses, the marks, the love.. it was what we did and what we had. between us was love not just love, but also lust.
lust, it's an aching, it's a feeling, it's an expression, an emotion.. it's a need. it's a way we speak 'i need you,' in emotions. it's our words as an emotion. it's the ache of wanting contact, sexual contact. that's what he wanted, but he fell deep into love, another type of need and ache.
love, its hard to explain. for some, it's the flowers and feelings that blossom up and form your feelings, take you away from breaking. for some, it's the feeling you get when butterflies fly around your stomach and sparks show. for some, it's not a feeling, it's an emotion. but for some, it's something more than that, something that you can't find the words for, that you just can't explain, it's the thing that flows around in the air and form the happiness, the happiness that brings us closer.
some even say, love is not 'love' it's just a synonym for true happiness, which i would agree on, sometimes, love can truly be the only thing pulling you on and making you happy, your lover is what makes you happy and the feeling is the thing that makes it right.
and lastly, there's this pit. this pit of depressed and emotional people, not knowing what love is. they can't say it is happiness, nor anything else. love is just something to appease the people into thinking that it's all that's needed, when truly, it just disguises the fact that everything is actually bitter and bleak.
i admit, i did fall into that pit once, all those years ago, before i met ethan. he was what sparkled up my world and made the colors show once again. the feeling of being loved is what took me by the hand and made me stand on my feet yet again.
at that time, i was truly, deeply, madly depressed, but i would never speak of how i was then, i've changed. ethan changed me. now the love we feel overpowers all.
here is our story, this is what happened.
it all started one day.. the day had started of somewhat sunny, but after a few hours, the rain and mist appeared in the air, creating a gloomy affect. because of that, everybody was feeling slightly down, it was rainy and misty, after all.
but i was feeling a bit more down than usual. today was the day i realized, i didn't really have anyone that loves me. sure, i had my family, but i needed somebody that loves me for me. i wanted love, but i knew i couldn't find it.
i didn't really have any close friends, i was a bit of a loner. it was just how it was, i guess. but i was use to it by now, even if people thought of me weirdly.
i walked into my school, sighing as i looked around, obviously nobody even came up to me. i put my head down, walking to my locker. people started giggling and chuckling at me, throwing either broken pens and pencils or pieces or scrunched up paper at me. i was just a laughing stock at this point, people could even consider me the funniest comedian there is, but i didn't even do anything?
giggles erupt anywhere i set foot in, it's as if there was a moustache drawn on my face, then again, i wouldn't be surprised if somebody broke into my house and drew one on my face as i slept. dreams are the only place i felt safe in, but as soon as i woke up, something bad had happened already.
i carried around a weight of drama, bullies and sadness everywhere i went. it was crazy, how many people can put all their hate onto one person, how could you even despise somebody that much? i could barely hate something. it was just how i was.
