you had always planned the day that you would tell your crush that you like him, and that day was today. you had everything planned out, from a to z. you knew exactly what you would do if he said yes, that he did have feelings for you too.
you had liked ethan for such a long time now, he was like your passion. whenever you were doing something your mind wandered to the beautiful boy's hazel eyes and fluffy hair, his face, how every inch of him was perfect. perfect for you. he was simply made for you.
when you were sketching in art class, the portrait of the person you drew was exactly like ethan. you were singing in music, you ended up singing about him. you were dancing in dance class, you ended up dancing to his favorite song, just for him.
in a way, it was weird. you were a bit obsessed with the boy. with every action you did, you showed your love for him. you knew more about him than you should have. he didn't really speak to you unless he absolutely had to, but here you were, knowing practically everything about him.
some people would even call you a slight psycho for this, but your argument was that you were simply in love with someone you saw from afar. you just couldn't wait to get to know his true personality, his favorite way to cuddle, kiss and even... your mind wandered far and wide, making a slight blush appear on your cheeks. you couldn't wait!
you walked into school with one of the prettiest outfits you had, a white dress with grey designs at the bottom of it and the top of it. you walked to your locker, exchanging the right books. you even had a slight spring in your step. you walked through the halls to your next class, the class you shared with ethan.
you looked into the class and saw ethan chattering with his friends, but this time, there was a girl who had joined them. she was one of the friends from years ago, but she had hurt you a few years later by making fun of you in front of the whole school. as soon as she was you walk by, she laughed at you, pointing her finger at you. did anyone teach her any manners, like maybe that pointing fingers was rude? or any manners at all? you thought in your head, making slightly sarcastic remarks, but you didn't bother to say it to her, she wasn't worth it, that you knew.
you looked at ethan for a few seconds and noticed him laughing along with her about the things she had said while she was pointing her finger at you. you scoffed, it was probably something else, you thought, even if your conscious was nagging you that he was obviously laughing at you, but you still shrugged it off.
throughout the day you saw ethan and her hanging out. it hurt your heart that he didn't even really acknowledge you, other than making fun of you. there was quite a few pangs in your heart and you started rethinking everything that you wanted to do, you didn't want to confess your love for him anymore, he was being plain rude.
you decided to just let yourself confess to him another day, after the day walking home with your head down. people walking by gave you pitiful yet weird looks, you were walking with your head down completely like a complete weirdo. but it was just your mood, you didn't want to show your face.
the day after and the day after and the day after.. ethan kept on making fun of you from afar, a few days coming closer to you speaking about you behind your back, he thought you didn't hear, but you did.
though, when you walked into class one day, he greeted you sweetly with a grin. usually, his words would get you to blush and stammer back a ''oh hey.. i, um, uh, yeah, uh, hi, uh i guess, yeah um okay'' but that day you weren't feeling it. you weren't feeling the bubbly feeling inside of you when he talked to you, you knew he would talk behind you again and again after this.
you, surprising yourself and him, didn't reply at all. he had expected you to say something back, so he was utterly confused. you didn't even bother looking at him after that, walking to your seat. the exact day, your art teacher partnered you and ethan together to draw each others portraits. you, being the expert at drawing him, simply just shrugged and nodded.
