i tried a slightly different writing style than usual, this might be a bit triggering in a few places.
❝"don't let madness corrupt you." a wise man once said,
but it is impossible not to be corrupted
when you're as dark as insanity itself.❞
midnight anxiety, midnight thoughts, ideas popping into your brain at the weirdest times and the thoughts never leaving. they flew around your mind, corrupting the normal, dreamy thoughts and turning them into a nightmare.
midnight thoughts, they occurred often, more often than anyone else's. it's like they were cursing you for a sin, a sin you didn't know, but did that matter? no, just the fact that the thoughts were there ruined everything.
your sleep schedule often lifted from going to sleep at 9:10 pm falling asleep at 9:30 pm and waking up at 7:10 am to going to sleep at 11:20 pm, falling asleep at 4:30 am and waking up at 6:00. it was easy to say, sleep was a rare but golden thing to you.
every time that you got the chance to have a good night's rest, was rare. extremely rare. but of course, you were happy, cheerful and usually in a good mood when it did happen. but well, that wasn't always the case.
there were times the midnight thoughts lurked into your brain, somehow demolishing all normalities, merely bringing along a world full of chaos in your mind. the silliest to the scariest to the worst to the saddest things popped into your mind at the time. sometimes it even seemed weirdly scary and uncommon, but you had to deal with it.
throughout the day, you grew tired, a daze flooding over you and putting you into a tired state. the stress was running up your spine and shoulders along with the chills and tiredness. the heavy feeling on your shoulders never left and as you tilted your head down, your spine cracked lightly and a slightly aching pain spreading throughout. all you wanted was to lay down on your bed. you felt dizzy and lightheaded, a cold sweat appearing.
but, alas, as soon as your back hit the cushions at home, relaxation flooded through your body with such ecstasy and excitement. but of course, like all good things, it ended quite quickly. the painful feel and the numb taste of stress came back, but the tiredness was gone. it was like somebody indecisively was picking whether to let you fall asleep or not.
you put your body into lighter clothes, hoping it could help from the aching pain and numbness, but of course, it didn't.
the midnight thoughts made an aching hole in you that nothing could fix, it was this numbness and lonely feeling in your body that you hated, but you could do nothing but cope.
the sounds in the room were loud, extremely loud.
in reality, of course, the room was silent. the silence was so, so quiet and silent that it felt loud. the silence in the air was overcoming everything and it was practically screaming and screeching in your ears.
you checked the clock on the wall, the clock that didn't grant a ticking sound on every move, just a merely silent clock. the clock showed the time was currently 11:28, two minutes till the start of the thoughts.
a sudden burst of energy, like a bubble passed you and your body felt like standing up and going for a workout or something, it felt like you were actually living. but of course, the numbness and need for dumb thoughts your body craved, and that's what it would get. it would not allow any other outcome.
at this point, you sat up. you knew what was coming, so what was the point of finding your guns and swords to go fight it? you knew, either way, the dumb thoughts and the feeling of midnight would overpower the small energy and power your body radiated and gave the world.
