The Secrets of a Nation

Chapter 33: I'm Sorry

*Hello ladies and gents and welcome to the 33rd chapter of The Secrets of a Nation. I hope all of you are enjoying this book, as most of you can tell I'm updating a bit more often and this book will be coming to an end soon. Not gonna lie the last chapter imma get all sappy with y'all, but enough of that. Let's get into this, shall we?*

(America's POV)

After the reading ended everyone around me quickly stood up ready to embark on lunch after having a happy and relatively peaceful session. However, before I could continue to follow the others I felt a hand grab my wrist effectively stopping me. Surprised I quickly turned around to see Canada. To say I was shocked was an understatement. The other kept his head down and didn't make eye contact with me. Though he held onto my arm, it was weak, as if saying I could break free when I wanted.

My brother said nothing as I stared at him. Quickly I looked at the others retreating backs and made eye contact with Kiku. I quickly gave him a nod and signaled him to join the others. Although hesitant, he obeyed and did so, the only remaining people in the room being us. I turned my attention back to the other who stayed in the same position. I let out a sigh, which caused the other to shrink back a tiny bit before I pulled my hand away.

The other's posture seemed resigned but before he could make a move I gripped his hand in mine. The younger flinched at this before looking up at me unsurely. I tried to muster up the best smile I could but I could tell it came out wobbly and strained. I could tell because the same expression came out on my brother's face. Neither of us spoke a word, both of us silently glancing at our conjoined hands.

Like magnets I felt Canada launch into my chest desperately clinging to me. I could feel my shirt start to become damp, but couldn't find it in me to care as I wrapped myself around the other. I don't know when but the water that blurred my vision slowly cascaded down my cheeks as well. I didn't realize how much it hurt not to have my brother there at my side, let alone hug him. On both ends are knuckles turned white from the force at which we were holding each other.

At some point we both ended up on our knees. I wasn't sure when that happened but it didn't matter. Slowly I withdrew from the embrace and gently grasped the other's head in my hands. We both looked at each other with glassy eyes and wobbly lips, both faces flushed a bright red. "I'm sorry, I-I know I was wrong. I-I wanted to repent f-for my actions for y-years. There isn't a d-day that I don't remember h-him and how he used to r-run around excitedly. H-he was so excited whenever I told him a-about you. I ruined t-that, I took that away a-and nothing can fix that. As sorry as I am, I love and m-miss him so much."

At my confession Canada's eyes teared up again. However, he seemed to try and hold them back as he carefully spoke, his words full of emotion. "As much as it grieves me to here what you did, and how terrible a thing you did... I can't find it in me to hate you. I know you had your reasons, and that you would never do such a heartless thing without a darn good one. I know you love me so, so much. That shows me how much you cared about him too." Though he tried to keep his voice even it still ended up cracking near the end.

Regret and sadness crashed into me like a huge overwhelming wave. I couldn't help the ugly sobs that escaped my throat as I leaned into my brothers embrace. The two of us sat their on the floor for awhile, calming ourselves. After I felt my emotions settle I looked at the other and spoke surely. "Tonight I will explain everything. I promise you." At this Canada gave a small smile and nodded his head. I stood and held out a hand to the other, who currently still sat on the floor. Without hesitation he grabbed my hand and I effortlessly pulled him up. Not everything has been fixed, but it was better, and would continue to get better. However, once broken nothing can truly be whole again, but that was fine. All you need is the time and dedication to keep everything together.

(France's POV)

As all of us entered the room I saw the twins sitting next to each other silently whispering something that obviously made the two happy. I saw them both silently chuckle and felt my heart swell with love and adoration. Unable to contain myself I rushed forward and enveloped the two in a hug. The two screamed, startled for a minute before laughing loudly and returning the hug.

Silently, I set the two back down and came to sit beside England. I could see the remorse yet fondness in his eyes. I offered my consolation by placing my hand on top of his. He startled for a minute and looked at me with unsure eyes. I offered him a small smile and directed my attention to the front. Today Germany was once again reading the entries.

Dear Diary,
I changed all of the names in England's cell phone. He's going to be so angry with me when he finds out, but it's worth it see the look on his face when God texts him to say, "I know what you did last night."

I couldn't help but laugh as I recalled that night. After a meeting America brought over a drunk England. To say that he was frazzled the next morning was an understatement. After everyone settled down Germany read the next entry.

America still regrets what happened between him and England. But he felt he needed England's respect in order to ever be a man. England is his hero.

I let out a small sigh after hearing this. Obviously, America could not talk to England about this issue, nor could he talk to his brother due to lack of experience. This often led to me being the middle man between the two. After hearing their worries I was sure of one thing. The two were emotionally constipated idiots.

America pretends magic isn't real because that would remind him of how kind and sweet his childhood was. He doesn't want to fell the same pain he felt the day he left England behind on the battlefield.

I felt my smile fall at this entry. I remembered the day that America came to me in tears on the verge of a panic attack begging me to tell him magic wasn't real. Without much options I consented. Whenever the younger was around I always had to agree and console him that magic wasn't real. Soon enough, he actually started to believe it. I never explained this to England. I looked over and noticed said nation seemed to realize this on his own. He glances up at me and I merely supplied a nod to confirm his thoughts.

Dear Diary,
When I became independent, I did it partly because I wanted to be able to see England whenever I wanted to. Not just wait for him to visit when it was convenient for him. But now, it's just not the same England I used to know.

(England's POV)

Hearing this entry I felt a familiar burning sensation behind my eyes. However, I held it in as I knew this wasn't a place I could have a mental breakdown. I took a deep breath and sighed. I felt like such an idiot. Obviously, throughout this whole ordeal I only thought about my own grief, not once acknowledging America's. Me ignoring him and yelling at him every chance I got probably didn't help either.

I curled in on myself and waited for the others to slowly make their way out of the room. When I glanced again most of the nations had left. The two North America twins sat, talking in hushed voices. Silently, I walked over to the two and stood in front of them. I cleared my throat successfully gaining their attention. Before I spoke I saw France go over to Canada's side silently asking him to follow. Hesitantly, said nation glanced between the two of us before getting up and following the older out.

Once the two left only me and America remained. The other looked at me hesitantly. Suddenly, I kneeled in front of the other. Shocked, the younger desperately tried to get me to stand. When that failed he also came down to kneel. At a loss, he gave me a worried glance before I finally spoke. "I'm sorry."

*and with that ladies and gents we will leave today's chapter here. While I was writing I accidentally swiped out and lost half of the chapter TT. I'm sorry if it's not up to standards but I hope all of you enjoyed today's update regardless. I will see all of you next time, Bye!*