Survival of the fittest

Chapter 7.

My chemotherapy was nothing more than pure torture the next day when I arrived at the hospital for my daily treatment and check up. I had barley slept anything at all the night before and the horrible burning sensation in my head was a proof that I was slowly getting worse. Somehow, I still successfully managed to keep my mood up instead of falling into a deep depression that a lot of cancer patients usually gets affected by. When some people gets diagnosed with cancer, they let their diseases control their lives, but not me. Surprisingly, my cancer has only made me stronger, braver and wiser.
One of the biggest lessons that I have learned from nearly dying of cancer is the importance of loving myself unconditionally. In fact, learning to love and accept myself unconditionally is pretty much what healed me and brought me back from the brink of death. There are still so many things that I want to do before death takes over my body and mind, but it's extremely hard to know where to start. All I know is that when I come to the end of my journey and when I have travelled my last mile, it won't be enough.
- Magnus, I need you to tell me if you suddenly would start to feel sick
One of my doctors had finished my chemotherapy and it felt like I finally could breathe properly again now when the enormous needle wasn't stuck into my arm anymore.
- I promise, I answered
The truth was, I felt beyond horrible. I tried to stay as still as possible in the uncomfortable chair I was sitting in, doing everything in my powers to prevent myself from throwing up on the floor and making a mess. When I started with different treatments and chemotherapies, I knew that I would feel sick afterwards, but I never expected it to feel this had. Every time one of my many doctors removes all of the wires that are pumping medication into my blood, I immediately feel dizzy. I thought that I at least would get used to the dizziness after a while of different kinds of treatments, but I never did.
- Do you want something to drink? Maybe something to eat? My doctor asked and flashed me a small smile
- Not really, I muttered
I knew that things as food and water would only make me feel worse.
- If you suddenly would change your mind, you know where to find me
With those last words spoken, my doctor left the room I was being treated in and I was alone again. I knew that I only would be by myself for a couple of minutes until one of my parents finally would arrive to pick me up and bring me home, but the looniness still gave me anxiety.
- Damn, look who we have here. Isn't it my favourite cancer patient?
The teasing voice made me flinch and when I slowly my attention towards the door that lead to my room, I saw how Camille walked in with a smug smile on her face.
- Hey, what are you doing here? I asked her and tried to find a more comfortable position in my chair
- Chemotherapy, she answered and rolled her eyes dramatically at me
- Why am I not surprised?
My boring answer made Camille let out a quiet chuckle for some reason and thereafter, she slowly sat down in the chair that was next to mine.
- Are you going to eat that?
She pointed at the cookie that was laying on a small table beside us. I don't know why, but I always get a cookie or something like that after my chemotherapy. I never eat it, but my doctors doesn't seem to realise that because they keep putting a new cookie on the exact same table.
- No, I answered
Camille only nodded and brought the disgusting cookie to her mouth and before I knew it, it was gone.
- I forgot to tell you, but you can't come by my house tonight. I have already promised Lorenzo that it was his time to have some fun with me, Camille said after a while
- I think I'll survive, I answered
- Good
Camille left my room only seconds later after our conversation ended, but I wasn't really complaining. I didn't really feel like talking to anymore at the moment, mostly because of the pounding in my head. When I felt better, I stood up from the chair I was sitting in and walked out from my treatment room. It wasn't that far until I would reach the entrance hall, but I knew that I truly would get even more dizzy than I already was if I wasn't careful enough. I didn't get very far though because before I knew it, I spotted a familiar face a few steps away.
- Alec, I yelled
The raven haired boy turned around and the first things I noticed about him was his eyes. They were beyond beautiful and for the very first time, I could actually see them for real.
- Magnus? He asked and looked at me with a rather chocked expression
- The one and only, I answered
- Wow, I never expected you to look so good, Alec said and blushed
- Is that a compliment? I asked and raised one of my eyebrows
- Yeah, I think so
- Thank you, Alexander. While we're on it, you look rather good yourself
I could see how my response made Alec blush even harder but honestly, it made him look even stunning.
- Look, I need to go back home, but it was nice to see you without your pretty sunglasses, I said and smiled
- It was really nice to see you too, Alexander answered happily
I flashed him one last loving smile and then when I was satisfied, I started to walk towards the entrance hall once again where one of my parents probably waited for me.
- Wait, Magnus?
I turned around and saw how Alec walked towards me with a small smile and a pair of trembling hands.
- Yes? I asked
- I was wondering if you would like to go out with me sometime?
- Like a date? I said and couldn't help myself but smile once again
- Yeah, Alec stuttered
- I would love that
I pressed a kiss on his cheek and thereafter, I started walking again.

// TBC \\