Satisfied(Lams/Modern AU)✔

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Alexander and Eliza had been married for over two years now. Alexander still talked to me frequently and always wished for the best when I would go to job interviews and would send me letters. Old fashioned, but sweet.

I flipped through my mail and landed on a letter from Alexander. I placed every other envolope to the side and ripped open Alexanders letter.

My dearest Laurens,

Just sending you a letter to remind you that I send happy vibes your way. I've noticed that you haven't viseted Eliza and I in a while, just figured I'd remind you, the invitation is always open. I'm finding myself extremely busy, as well as finding it hard to get the time to read your replys. Have you found a wife yet? I still have some friends I could try to connect you with, if you wish. Anyway, I send my best regards, from my family to yours. I hope to hear from you soon.

Forever yours, A.Ham

I smiled and put the letter back in it's envolope. I walked into my office grabbing a pen and paper.

Dear Alexander,

Have you ever thought of trying to maybe, oh I don't know, email me? I'm pretty sure it was in my last letter that you should try that if you should ever loose my home address. I apilogize for not coming over to your house recently, I've been pretty much rolling in work. I don't have a wife, and please, don't bother going out of your way to hook me up with anyone. Although I do appriciate the gesture.

Love, John Laurens.

I folded the letter and heard my doorbell ring. "Who could that be? I'm not expecting company am i?" I mumbled to myself before walking to the door and opening it hesitantly being greeted with a hot mess of an Alexander. His hair was down which was abnormal for him, he had on a backpack, his face was obviously tear stained and his nose was slightly pink. "Hamilton..." I muttered in surprise.

"L-Laurens...can I stay with you? For....for a few weeks until I get my life back on track?" He asked, his voice breaking at times. "Yes, of course m- Hamilton. Come in." I stepped aside and Alexander walked in quickly before dropping his backpack on the floor. "What happened?" I asked directing him to the couch. He sniffled. "Eliza kicked me out..." He sat down. I sat in front of him putting my hands on his shoulders. "Why? That's terrible." I hugged him without second thoughts.

I heard him begin to cry, his breath shaky. "We argued about h-how much I work and...and I-I s-said some things I can never take back Laurens..." I tighented my grip on him. "It's okay, like you told me, it's okay to cry. You just had a heated argument with the love of your life, you can stay as long as you need." I reassured. Alexander nuzzled up to me, dampening my shirt with his tears.

"I-I'm n-not upset about h-her...I-I feel like s-shit f-for s-saying w-what I said.." I felt extremely confused but brushed it away and focused on comforting my...friend.. Alex calmed down and lifted his head up, locking eyes with me. "Laurens...I'm sorry." I shook my head "You have nothing to be sorry for." I assured.

Alexander shook his head. "I..I'm... I'm weak.." I shook my head. "Farthest thing from it love! You're the strongest person I know." I said, finding it hard not to just confess right then and there. "I...thank you for giving me a place to stay..." I nodded. "That's what I'm here for Hamilton." I felt him suddenly hug me back tightly.

  I bit my lip and rubbed circles in his back. "Do you want me to talk to Eliza?" Alexander shook his head and sniffled. "Alright...you can sleep in my bed okay? I'll stay on the couch." I loosened my grip on him but was only met with Alexander clinging to me even tighter. "I could never put you out of your bed in your own house."

I sighed. "Fine. But please, make yourself at home, you can stay as long as you'd like." Alexander let go of me. "Thank you John. I can't ask for a better companion in life." I didn't know what to take from that sentence, I know he meant friend but..why did he say it like that? Whatever, don't worry about it. "I'm gonna head to sleep but...don't hesitate to wake me up if you need something, alright?" He nodded.

Time skip.

I laid in bed staring at my dim ceiling, a desklamp being the only thing luminating the room. I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. "Come in." The door opened slowly revealing Alexander. "Can I sleep with you? I didn't realize how hard it is to sleep without the warmth of another person." He asked shyly. I nodded without hesitation. "Yeah sure, come on." I slid to the side of the bed. "No? Okay, sorry for asking- wait really?" I smiled and nodded again. "Absoloutely." He rushed into the bed next to me.

"This feels right..." He mumbled to himself. I don't think I was supposed to hear him. "What do you mean?" I asked trying to seem casual. "Hm? Oh shit, I meant like.. Being with another person." That's what I thought. I nodded and picked my phone up flipping through social media. "Laurens, I'm sexually attracted to males." I froze unsure how to react. "Are you serious?" I asked putting my phone down.

(There. There motherfuckers. I f I x e d I t, now will you please kindly let me live my liFe)

"Very." I nodded. "You seem quite unphased considering the fact that not even a few hours ago you were kicked out of your house by your wife." Alexander shook his head. "We didn't just argue about my work.." I nodded and laid on my side to face him. "I wanted to tell her how I'd been thinking... I hoped that she would at least stay my friend you know? But...I'm losing hope of that..." I didn't know how to react.

  "I was sad about beging to lose her, yes but not because I loved her." I raised an eyebrow. "You just lost the love of your life don't you want her back?" Alexander shook his head. "I didn't lose the love of my life, because I never had him." The next thing I knew his mouth was on mine. This was long awaited contact, and yes I wanted this and yes I needed this and...he doesn't know what he's talking about. He's in pain, he just needs someone to help him, to take care of him. This can't be real.

  I kissed back finally, just my luck he pulled away right after. "I'm so sorry, I know you don't think of me that way, I've just been bottling up these feelings for so long and kissing you felt right and-" I cut him off by slamming my lips into his, catching him off gaurd. I pulled away slowly. "Since fith grade." Alexander looked shocked.

"Fith?" I nodded. "I'm not...im not weird?" I shook my head and placed a hand on his cheek. "Farthest thing from it." Alex started to cry. I wiped his face. "Don't cry...I don't know What to do when people cry...damnit.." I hugged him hoping this would do something. "I'm just so happy..." I pulled back and kissed him passionately, this somehow transitioned into French kissing and suddenly a thought hit me.

He has a wife at home

I pulled back. "Kiss me again." He asked. I nodded and hesitantly kissed him briefly. "Hamilton you have a wife..." I whispered to him. He shrugged. "But I'm in love with you. We'll deal with her later, right now what I need is you." I shook my head. "I can't do anything... you're married, you're binded to her by law and you love her and you're just confused." I quickly realized I had said all of that out loud.

"Laurens is that what you think? Will you help me figure it out then? Becuase I love the way you talk and the way you feel...and the way you kiss." Sounds in love... "But you've never even had a homosexual experiance, you couldn't know that you love me." He nodded. "Then be my first." I furrowed my brow.

"W-what?" He nodded. "Have sex with me, once. If I don't like it we'll know but...I love you and...and I want you. I want to be with you." I gulped. "Later?" I suggested. He nodded. "We can talk about it later, I'll even tell you my sexual history if you need to feel more secure-" I shook my head. "No, no, I'm not worried about anything like that." I assured.

"Let's talk tomorrow my love." He reinforced. I nodded. "Tomorrow. Sleep now though." He nodded. "I don't have to sleep in here if you don't want me to." He suggested. I shook my head. "No, no, I want you to." I put my arm around his waist. "Oh, okay. Goodnight my love." Alexander whispered before closing his eyes. "Goodnight Alexander."