My Time To Go

3

Friday rolled around quite fast, and before you now it I was standing in front of her door, with my hand firmly in my pockets while leaning against the door frame.

'Come on Rachael, some time today', I mumble while looking at my watch.

Finally the door creaked open as her head popped through.

' move'. I say with a scowl , as I pushed the door wider, so I could actually fit in.

Her house was massive, I mean you could tell from the outside, but from the inside it was so much more beautiful. Grand chandeliers hung on the ceiling, all of the walls were layered with intricate gold designs. In the living room a large TV screen adorned the wall and the room was filled with luxurious, expensive furniture. A peachy aroma danced through the air tickling my nose. 

As we walked down the endless hallway my eyes devilishly raked over her appearance . she was dressed in a  mid length, above the knee,  vibrant yellow dress . Her bare skin was soft and delicate, untouched and new.

'This is it', she mumbled as we turned into a what I assume was her bedroom, ' make your self at home'

'Not likely', I sourly replied. 

The room was very plain, with neutral colours decorating it. I took a seat at her desk and she took one on her bed. There was photo frames everywhere, of her friends and family. 

'What would you like to cover?' she asked, with a smile. A gorgeous smile , but I ignored it and turned away disgusted at myself for even thinking she's a genuine person. 

'I don't need your help, I already told you', I replied.

'I'm sorry', she whispered, ' I will just be over here reading'

And so for the whole time we sat in silence, with her reading on the bed and I filling out college applications. When it turned 8 she asked if I wanted food. which I denied. I don't need her charity, and continued working, but I couldn't help but notice the glances she was giving me.

'Yes?', I asked with a low and stern voice.

'You want to go to college?' she asked curiously.

'Yes, why am I not smart enough?'

'No, I just thought that you wasn't interested in school'

'Well, You don't know me' I say blandly.

'But i know what you show everyone'

'No, you don't. You don't know me at all, so don't sit here in your big house with your lovely furniture and look down on me like I'm a minor. I'm a normal human just like you. See your so blinded by how perfect your life is and your fake fucking act that you don't even realise how stupid you look'

'I-I-I'm not acting'

'Oh yeah, sure. You might live in a castle but it doesn't make you a princess. Look at us, look at the world, its such a fucking shit place, but yet you wanna be feeding your bullshit about your an angel. Grow the fuck up Rachael and stop pretending.

'Get out'

'I was just leaving anyway'

'Get out, now', and although it didn't sound very convincing I was beyond pissed to even care as I stormed out , jumped onto my bike and drove off. I had no idea where I was going, but I didn't stop.

A little while later, I went to see Ma's grave and tell her that I'm sorry for not being enough, and as I sat there in silence with myself and these dead corpses surrounding me I couldn't help but cringe at what I had said to her. 

That night I couldn't sleep at all and as I watched the stars, I'd wondered what it was like to be one, and as the hours went by and the sun began to rise, I could see that this was wrong. All of it was wrong. I've become a horrible person that hurts others for no fucking reason and can't control my bloody temper. Just like my father and brother Luke.