The Girl In Love With Milk Tea

Fake

Melissa 

I've never felt like this, I want to be able to tell Thea and Rose whats going on but my throat clogs up as soon as I am near them, ready to tell them but my mind flashes back to the encounter I had a few months ago. 

I feel so alone in a world full of people, I want to be able to free but I never thought I would end up in a predicament like this - trapped like a falsely accused prisoner in shackles, the shackles tight cutting off the circulation leading to a slow and painful death. 

Thea is my life, she had played my saviour more times than I can count and I love her like she is my own sister, with her I was able to be the real me and not someone my parents expected me to be. 

Rose is like another sister to me, even though Thea and I had met her a year ago she had been someone who we trusted with our lives and Thea viewed her like another younger sister she was ready to look after her life the older sister she acted like with me.

Turning into someone I am not was something that had confused them, I could tell they were shocked and left in the dark as I had turned into a nightmare, the girl that took the fun out of everything and focused their attention on boys. 

I was fake, I am fake and I will be fake till I can get rid of the personal demon that sits on my shoulder controlling every decision I made, torturing me for every mistake that made and crushing any happiness that I felt leaving me broken and shattered. 

I saw Rose and Thea walking into the cafeteria in the morning, I was meant to be with them but I left earlier. They both looked upset and lost and I so badly wanted to go and comfort them and tell them everything is okay. 

It's your fault they are upset, without you everything would be perfect for them.

His voice sparked through my mind, staying there permanently, the sentence was repeated several times and I tried to ignore it and deny it but it was the truth and I couldn't do anything but listen as the truth echoed in my mind.  

Thea had seen me and was waving madly and had a huge smile on her face, I had put on an emotionless facade and looked her in the eye, that was empty and her hands went back down, her smile turned into a frown and I turned away  I couldn't bear to see the sadness on her face, someone who had been a motherly figure for me when my own mother didn't care about me.

I walked away from the two people who were my family, they may say blood is thicker than water but in my case the water washed away the blood, cleansing my body from the scars my own flesh had left on me - tears fell down my eyes like a waterfall and I couldn't do anything but let them fall.