NOVEMBER STRAINED THE AIR IN hazy navy skies and columns of smoke rising from the symbolic crackle of bonfires; the collective explosion of bright colours tearing across the night sky, and the effervescence of sparklers fizzling in the air long after the lights went out, champagne sparks of elation lighting stars in bleary midnight eyes.
Hands pressed to Hen's window sill, I stuck my head out―in the loose, fresh breeze, my blonde hair swept the bricks hanging just below, and I could taste the sweetness of Autumn with each buzzing inhale.
His footsteps padded up behind me, and I whipped around, facing him with a smile when a cool glass of Appletiser was pressed into my hands and I was able to tilt the fizzing apple liquid to my lips and have it run down my throat in rivulets of explosive sweet tartness.
Knocking the rest down in an expert shot, Hen grabbed my wrist, dragging me to him, and with a short laugh escaping my throat, I set the glass down and let him ruffle my hair affectionately, before dropping onto the bed and reaching for the jumper I'd discarded earlier, carelessly tossing it back to me so it skimmed my head.
"You need to get back," He said, with a touch of disappointment, scything a stick-like arm over his head. I nodded, allowing the wool of my jumper to fall over my arms and torso and envelop me in its warmth. "Do you want me to walk you?"
Melancholy eyes captured the deep darkness of the night, and though there was something enrapturing in its beauty, I had to nod for the sake of my own sense of security. He rose at this, behind me, to which I had to slip beside him instead, letting our paces match until we were out the door and his elbow was leaning on my shoulder, affectionate in the shadowed night.
He walked me back to my house, blissfully clueless, and I fell into his hug, thanking him and wishing him goodnight before his towering form drifted off into the darkness and I continued the rest of the way by myself―all the while my chest cavity seizing, and my breaths too shallow, ripping out of my throat, but me rhyming and counting and focusing on patterns regardless, because I didn't want to let anybody else down.
I unlocked the flat myself, using Dylan's copy of the key which he leant to me after emphasising he and Ella would be on a date tonight. They were going to be headed back soon, which left a small window of time for me to slouch on the sofa and watch TV, shooting a quick text out to Arch to say I got home safe despite how dark it was.
Sometimes I felt bad at how much I confided in Archie compared to Jess and Henry, both of whom had grown to be some of my closest and best friends in the past couple of years. Little of what they knew about me was much more than common knowledge, and it was a stone of guilt in my stomach, because it was never a question of trust―the information I divulged to my friends was dependent on my own stupid inability to say what mattered, because I let myself get hung up on the small shit if I could run away and distract myself from anything larger at hand.
The feeling was preying on me, especially when I thought about how easily Hen had walked me to my house, not knowing that I was staying next door to his best friend instead. It was something I couldn't take much longer.
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