I shouldn't have looked. You still give me panic attacks. I still can't sleep because of the thoughts you cause me. Why do I care so much? It's not like you care about it anymore at all. It's long over. But these old memories, they still weigh on me. I feel trapped. There's no escape. I thought things were getting better. But as always, it only takes one small thing to yank me back in again. Fuck my feelings. Fuck my existence. Fuck it all. I'm done playing by the rules. From now on I'm gonna follow my heart and see where that gets me.
