The heart that you made numb

Chapter 2: Why not?

Days went so fast; the nights even went faster. The third term was coming to an end. Girls were the least of everyone's problems, but not everyone thought. I was still thinking about her, how strange this feeling was. This was wild. Maybe this girl was lovely to everyone; why should she like me anyway? Tindo was my closest friend, so it was bound to be transparent to him sooner or later. High school was hard, but the best thing was parents, teachers and almost every adult pushing us to the wall. We were left to depend on each other. This would fade after high school completion, and we would be left to look back up to our parents, who know nothing that happened in the four years we were in boarding school. We would be lost, but who knew? Who cared?

"Are you sure you like this girl?" He was glued to this question since the day I met her.

"Yeah, I am sure, more than sure. How many times am I telling you this?" I was upset about his questioning her legitimacy. He made sense, but sense never got anyone anywhere. He could never understand.

"It's because you shouldn't like her!" He said firmly.

"Why shouldn't I, cupid? Enlighten me!"

"You are not intimidating me. I'll tell you the truth anyway. This relationship thing is like a business; when getting into it, you are so psyched up, but you don't know whether you'll make profits or losses or win or lose. This girl you just met, you don't even know her. Maybe she is seeing someone else. You only like a girl after she has said yes." What does he even mean to someone else? And what does liking someone after they say yes mean?

"You know what? I don't care if she's seeing someone else as long as she's mine. It's not like she's my wife. I don't want to tame her; she's free to do whatever she likes." I did not believe I said that, but it is just true. These teenage relationships always end when least expected, so why should I care if Amanda is seeing someone else? The deal is for me to enjoy the moment while it lasts and make it worth it. My faith in my sentiments did not mean a thing to the existing reality.

"You acting as if she's the only girl in the world. I'm sure there are better out there,"

"Better or worse. It doesn't matter. There's none like her. You know me very well. I like unique, and that girl back there is unique. You know how these things work, man. I have her and wait for the breakup. I'm not settling for her." I punched Tindo lightly on his shoulder. "There is always better; it is all a stupid loop; you must chill."

"Okay, this is not right for me to say. I shouldn't even be advising you about this. We look like a bunch of white folks. The way you talk about this girl is scary. You like her too much; that's the main ingredient for the recipe of heartbreak. You have written more than ten poems about her. I think you are getting into a trap, just saying."

I laughed so hard, a genuine laugh. "Tindo, have you met me? I'm practically the last person who will settle in our generation. They must put me in ropes and carry me to the aisle. I am doing what everyone else is. I want a girlfriend with whom we can talk about stuff together, for the moment. I am not going to do some soap opera stuff. You know I'm better than that. And I can write poems about anyone, even you. That doesn't mean I am in love with you."

"Now, this has become weird. Don't say I didn't warn you, though!" He said as he left me in my bed; it was time to sleep.

"Let me write you a poem, bro!" I told him while laughing as he left my cubicle.

"You are weird, Leroy."

"Let a little steam out, you human boiler," I told him in chuckles as he left.

Left alone, I started thinking about what Tindo had just said. Who is foolish enough to fall in love, and you are not even twenty yet? You have the whole world to explore. In this world you are to explore, there are also more girls to get to know. That's the entire reason for dating. Preparing yourself for that one soulmate. I call her "the one." Someone is with her right now, not knowing she will forever be with me. What if soulmates arrived when you were just sixteen? What if Amanda is my soulmate?
I laughed so hard at that joke that the house prefect heard me and gave me a punishment. Damn!