Ashes to Ashes: The Female Alpha

Part Five

My mother had told me at a very young age that I would never have a mate, that the moon goddess claimed I was unworthy of one. At first I denied it; how could the moon goddess do something so terrible? My young mind refused to believe that the moon goddess would refuse me a happiness that every wolf experiences. However, as time passed and mother constantly tore me down any chance she got, my adolescent mind began to believe her wicked lies.

'No one would ever want such an ugly girl'

'Your own father didn't want you, what makes you think another man would!'

I had believed her as my skin became littered with scars. Mother would remind me everyday that I was of no worth, not even the simple task of a having a pup. She claimed that my existence was a mere mistake; I was never supposed to be born. I had been  speechless the first time my mother said she didn't love me, and now as I stand before my very mate that I wasn't supposed to have, I am speechless once again.

My emotions were going haywire. My mouth kept opening and closing, trying to find the right words. I could not reject my mate, it is looked down upon but I could also not be with him. It was ingrained into my head that members the Black Rain Pack don't mate, my mother had been right in telling me I was of no use when it came to the pup department. However, my whole existence is only meant to serve the moon goddess, and put my life on the line when needed.

He was beautiful in a rugged way. Electric blue eyes surrounded by tiny wrinkles, possibly caused by many late nights spent in the office reviewing documents. His form was large and wide, every part of him toned and tan. He had stubble around his jaw, his copper hair disheveled and slightly curled.

I could never comprehend when wolves would instantly fall for their mates at first sight. Yes it was ingrained into us, but merely falling for someone at first look, ridiculous. Well, that's what I would have thought before today. 

"Bring Alpha Samuel to my office, we have much to discuss" he said suddenly, his eyes connecting to my own, then walked away.

I understood the predicament I was in, I had a mate, but that was against the rules. But then again, this is something I was told I would never had, and yet, the opportunity stands before me. My eyes stay glued to his tense back as he walked away, his large steps leading him out of the room within seconds.

Wait.

He didn't acknowledge me.

Its true. My wolf cried in my head. Her mate didn't seem to want her. He didn't acknowledge the bond. My wolf starts whining about finding him, talking to him, doing whatever we can to get him to notice us. Why does she cry? Have we not been preparing for this our entire lives? No mate, no pup, protect the pack. 

I let Joshua go get Alpha Samuel as Alpha Rush has requested. I couldn't bring myself to be in his presence again, so I decided to go on a walk around the pack. I needed a moment to recover.

It was a large amount of ground to cover. The grass was well kept, the plush, vibrant color confirming my thought. The pack itself was eerily gloomy, silent though wolves were walking about; some training, some shopping at the small market located further down. I walked the pack about two times, making sure I remember every single detail. Memorizing every bush and tree, every face.

As I kept passing by, members of Mountain Ash Pack kept staring at me. I understand the need to stare, I am a girl who has been living amongst the Warrior Pack, I am the Beta of my pack, I had just laughed at their Alpha. Of course they would stare. It would be stupid of me to not be aware of this. Though I could argue it was stupid of them to stare so openly at their Beta.

With one final lap, I decided to make my way back to the pack house. I dreaded opening the front door, my feet dragging as I was met by both Alphas as well as our Gamma. All eyes went to me as I entered.

"Alex" Samuel greeted

"Alpha?" I replied walking towards him

"Tonight we will be introduced into the pack. I want you to tell the others, make sure they are all on time," I nod my head

"Of course," I let out quickly, not wanting to be here any longer. In my frazzled state, I quickly climbed the stairs, passing Rush, accidentally brushing my arm across his. Small tingles erupted from the spot, filling me with warmth. It was an electrifying feeling, one that reached down to my toes. I could feel my face heat up, as my feet pound up the stairs faster than I had intended.

It was around nine when an older lady named Lily had come in my room to give me a white dress for the introduction, it was soft and light. After, I sent the mindlink to our warriors to meet outside.

I slipped on the silky material then let my hair down in it's natural straight form, and proceeded to look myself in the mirror. My white hair that complimented my pale skin, my grey eyes that reminded me of the stormy skies that constantly surrounded these mountains. I knew I was not ugly, but the color of my hair will haunt me until the day I die.

I liked how the white, silky dress looked on me. It had the perfect amount of cleavage and it hugged my hips nicely. A dress is a luxury I've never experienced. I've never been one to go out looking for girly items, as the men in my pack could think me weak for wanting such a luxury.

A knock sounded at the door; it is time to officially join this pack. Joshua stood outside my door, ready to lead me outside with the rest of our pack. "Don't look so nervous Lex".

My faced formed into a frown, "I'm not nervous."

As the best warriors in our pack, Joshua and I would be the first in everything. We made our way to the front of line and waited to be called.

"Mountain Ash Pack" Rush announced, everyone went quiet

He continued, "we are here to introduce the BlackRain Pack into ours. Alpha Samuel will introduce them, then I will do the ritual."

He gave Samuel a nod to begin.

It was beautiful. The night skies were covered in grays, black, and a slight purple. The thunder rumbled as Alpha Rush spoke, something about the combination went perfectly together.

"Alexandra Night, Beta of the BlackRain pack, and top warrior" Samuel announced with pride.

My full name made me cringe slightly. Just hearing it brings back memories I wish I could forget. I have little scraps of memories of my mother, ones that have been scarred onto my body

I watch as Rush cuts my palm, then his. I could feel a new bond being awoken.

"Do you swear to protect your pack and Alpha, at any cost?" Rush asked seriously

"I swear"

Rush looked towards the crowd, "I present you, Alexandra Night of the now, Black Ash Pack."