Ashes to Ashes: The Female Alpha

Part Eight

The whips of wind was all that was heard around us. Alpha Rush continued his glaring at me as I had just became the new Beta of the Black Mountain Ash Pack. His glaring soon turned towards Samuel who had on the grin of a Cheshire cat. It must be hard to control themselves from fighting for dominance, but they both knew they needed each other to win this unknown upcoming battle.

The glaring soon stopped as Alpha Rush had commanded all wolves to retreat back to the pack house, tomorrow would be a new day.

My excitement simmered down as I walked back to the pack house. Becoming Beta is a great honor, it is an honor that I have cherished for the past three years, and now I will cherish it until I die. I crept into my room and jumped into the shower quickly. I needed time away from everyone. I would never admit it, but being around so many always put me on edge. Being alone has always been good for me.

I ripped the dirty clothes off and hopped into the shower, where my overthinking began. If there was one flaw I had, this was it. Overthinking everything, and anything. I analyze too much, I think too much, then my thoughts begin to stray away. The loneliness begins to creep it's way into me, thoughts soon went to memories of her.

She told me it was my fault we were rogues. That I was a hideous child, an embarrassment to the family. That my father kicked us out and kept my three brothers. She blamed me for everything. She certainly was a bitch; A bitch who I never wanted to be like, yet everyday I take a step closer to becoming the harsh animal she was.

My hands reach to my scalp, begging to rip out the white hair she cursed me with. They shake in anticipation, waiting for my order to pull out the white strands and let the small drops off blood fall, but I do not. I bring my shaking hands down and remember the only person who cared about me. When I finally calmed my thoughts, I got out the shower and dressed in a v-neck and shorts. I slipped on my combat boots, then moved out my room and downstairs.

I made my way into the kitchen, only to find the familiar stench of my mate. He stood beside the counter watching me walk into the kitchen. I ignored his stare, going through the fridge, picking out ingredients for a sandwich.

I placed the ingredients on the counter and began to make my sandwich.

"I don't trust you" he said

I gave him a bored look then continued to put the mayo on my bread.

"You are my mate, but I don't want you. You will only get in my way and put a target on yourself."

I cut the tomatoes, then layered them on the slice of ham, "I am a warrior, having targets on my back comes with the job." I turned to look at him, "I don't trust you either and I probably never will. I am a warrior and warriors do not cry over mates. I will not cry over you. You are nothing to me." The nonchalant response slipped from my lips.

The words sent a pang of hurt to my heart as I forced them out. My wolf whimpered in my head at my honest response, I wouldn't cry and pine for him, he is nothing to me. I was raised to be tough and live without a mate. I've gone my entire life without the love I was supposed to get. Mothers are supposed to love their daughters. Fathers are supposed to love their daughter. Mates are supposed to love their mates. None of that happened for me.

I would be fine without him.

>

The next day came sooner than expected. I stood in the Alpha's office with Steven on my right. We waited for our instructions.

They went back and fourth talking about an issue with the rogues. Rogues were not all bad, but the majority are vile and cruel. I was getting bored of the two Alpha males bashing each others ideas, so I went to sit on the red chair beside the desk. Steven shot me a look before he too, took a seat. Seeing two Alpha's banter is quite amusing, the veins protruding from Rush's arm, the low growls that Samuel emits, it's all quite entertaining. However, when Samuel shot his hand out and caught Alpha Rush in the face, the atmosphere was anything but amusing.

Samuel is a strong, large wolf, but he was no born Alpha. It was as if time slowed down, my body lurched forward as I saw Rush's hand come out to retaliate. As I stepped right in front of Samuel, a stinging sensation came over my abdomen. Blood oozed from my clawed stomach, my breath was caught in my throat as my knees buckled from under me. It was all in slow motion, but it was also so quick. The pained grunt left my lips as I clutched the bleeding claw marks on my stomach. For a split second, I saw it. The shimmer of worry pass through Alpha Rush's electric eyes. Interesting.