Ashes to Ashes: The Female Alpha

Dine & Dash (pt.22)

On the inside, I was convulsing with nerves, but to Rush's family, I looked calm and collected. I sat with my back straight in the chair, carefully choosing my words. Rush probably assumed that my warrior side was up and that's why I was acting like this.

Lie.

I'm acting like this because I didn't want Rush's family to have anything against me. So many people already don't like me, I couldn't have my own mate's family hate me as well. I kept conversations simple and polite, with a lot of please and thank you-s.

The plate of steak and potatoes arrived in front of me. With a lift of the fork and steak knife, I dug in with grace. Goddess I feel like I'm at a tea party with all these manners. Perhaps I should drink my glass of water with my pinky up. The sound of my low chuckle brought the attention of the group before me.

"Is something funny, dear?" Rush's mother, Eleanor, said with elegance

I cleared my throat, "no ma'm, just an old memory" I lied.

"Ah, do tell us, Alex. We would love to hear a story from you" his father, Cain, said

Damn! I just screwed myself. What the hell was I going to say? I have no funny memories. Hell, I dont even have happy memories. It took me a second to think of anything relatively good.

I cleared my throat again, "um, well... Oh!" A smile grew on my face, "This one time my mother chased me around the house, trying to stab me with her favorite knife, but she ended up slipping on the small rug in the living room and stabbed herself in the leg" my laughter boomed across the dinner table, I had to wipe a few tears away from laughing so hard, "I would pay to see that again" I added

As soon as my laughter died down, I saw the look of horror on my mates familys' faces. To say this was awkward was an understatement. I grabbed my glass of water and chugged it down. Once again I cleared my throat, hoping it would clear away the awkwardness.

"Dear, did you say your mother tried to stab you?" Eleanor asked hesitantly.

I nodded slowly.

"Oh..."

_________

That had to be the worst dinner of my life, and I've been shot before at a dinner, so that was saying alot. My head is currently hiding under my blankets, trying to push the embarrassment away, though I don't think anything could make this feeling go away. All night I had been very meticulous about my words, and the moment I finally relax a little, I make everything silent and awkward. Its at these moments I wonder if my mother was right about me. Was I truly unlovable? A stupid pest?

"It wasn't that bad" Rush tugged the blanket off, an awkward smile gracing his face.

I stared at him blankly.

"Okay, it was ,but my mother said she really likes you" he grabbed my hand. "Don't worry about it, we'll have plenty more dinners where you can show them how lucky we are to have you" he kissed my nose, making me giggle

That's right, giggle.

The badass, fighting, warrior, just giggled like a little girl. This is disgusting...I'm going to be sick.

'Love sick' my wolf added

He continued to give me little kisses. Some on my nose, some on my forehead, cheeks, and finally, my jaw. I loved being showered in affection, but only by him. His lips soon went to kiss down my neck, bringing me a new sensation. His mouth sucked on the area that would bare his mark.

His behavior had changed ever since that day he told the elders that we were mates. At times, he becomes distant, but its improving.

I knew our relationship was getting better and more intimate, but I still didn't fully trust him yet. I knew why I chose to embrace the bond, I am tired of fighting off this constant appeal he has over me. I want to be loved, even if it lasts for a moment, but what was his reason? Why would he choose to give into the mate bond when I know something is holding him back. I can see it in the way he looks away when I try to get to know him. I pushed on his chest lightly, signaling for him to stop his assault.

"I'm not ready yet" I whispered out

He pushed himself away from me with a grunt. I knew he was probably upset, probably even felt rejected, but I just wasn't there yet. This relationship was new, and still growing. If he were to mark me, there would be no turning back. I would be trapped in a bond, unable to leave.

"Rush-"

"No," He slammed the bedroom door.

Dramatic Asshole.