I'm not crazy

12

Wednesday, March 20, 2006

Jacks POV

I watched out the window next to the back door. I watched as Felix left. He might never come back. I can't trust him no matter how much I'm tempted to let him return. I can't.

He disappeared into the woods as I watched his head hang low and how he dragged his feet. He didn't look back. Not once.

I stared out the window for about an hour. Yearning for him to suddenly appear and try to convince me to let him come inside. But I knew that he isn't the kind of person to do that. I also thought he wasn't the person to tell my secret.

He never came and I never saw even a glimpse of him returning. My eyes started to tear up the more I thought about it. He won't be coming back anytime soon. I know I'm going to miss him. I know that I'll miss his hugs and cuddles. I know that I'll miss everything he is. I cannot imagine life without him.

I suddenly felt very alone. Like nobody was there for me. I didn't feel safe. I felt like I was in the ocean with a group of untrustworthy strangers as I was drowning. My heart started pounding and my breathing got shaky and rapid. I can't breathe! I tried to stand and walk but my legs were shaky and weak. I can't stay here. I have to run. Someone help me!! I started running around everywhere. Running nowhere and everywhere. I collapsed and curled into a ball. I buried my head into my knees and bawled my eyes out. I'm alone... all alone.

I raised my head. Tears streaming down my face and my vision was blurry because of it. I was against the wall next to the back door. Despite some people being around me. I felt singled out and alone.

There was a slight tap on the metal door. I sat and stared at it, waiting for another tap or even a knock. I got a few taps. My legs were still shaky but I brought myself to peak out the window. There was a boy sitting on the wall next to the door tapping the door. It was mark. His face more bruised and beaten then the last time I saw him. (Btw mark doesn't have dyed hair in this)

I stood up and walked in front of the door. My hand was placed on the door. Should I open it?

I carefully opened the door. The raven-haired boy looked up. He looked tired and worn out. Bags were under his irritated eyes. He looked up at me with worry and sadness.

I stood peering out the slightly opened door for a few minutes debating whether or not to let him in.

After making my decision I held out my hand for him. He took it and stood up. I brought him inside and he followed me. Not one word was spoken from either of us. We were also the only ones in the hallway.

I walked to the cafeteria and got him a granola bar. Then We headed to Felix's room.

Once we got there he sat on the bed and set his phone on the nightstand. I sat next to him as he ate his granola bar very slowly. As if he could decide if he was allowed to or not.

"Mark. Why are you here?" I asked him, looking directly in his chocolate eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself and pointed at his phone. I got up and took it off the nightstand.

He unlocked it and went to messages between him and Felix. He scrolled to find a certain massage. Once he found it he gave the phone to me.

F: You can come to my house or jacks house if you can't go home.

M: ok

F: just stay safe

M: I can't promise anything

I read them and was disappointed in Felix. Mark must have a pretty horrible home life for Felix to have him openly come here. I felt bad for mark. He gets beaten and he'll barely talk. I should just let him stay here but I'll have to ask everyone first.

"Mark I'll be back in a little bit. Just stay here."

He nodded and I got out of his room. I called everyone to the cafeteria.

Once everyone got there I conjured up the courage to tell them mark should stay.

"Everyone. I want to talk to you about mark. I want him to be able to come here openly, just like Felix. But I don't think Felix will be coming back anytime soon."

There were murmurs and whispers. Then someone spoke up. It was jinger. She was short and young, only about 8. "I think Mark doesn't have the knowledge to stay here like Felix did. When mark leaves who knows if he will tell."

I responded with: "he won't. He doesn't talk."

Another voice said "The fool doesn't get to stay out of pity!!"

Ethan spoke up after a few other yells. "If this is the only place for mark to go, why not?"

Cierra then added something else. "Felix didn't rely on jack as his home. He only treated jack as a friend that he was visiting. Mark shouldn't  get to stay. Just because of his past or possibly current state, it doesn't mean he needs all of our pity to shelter his defenseless self."

This made me think. Mark doesn't know a lot about me. I've only met him once. He has no current contribute to me in any way. "I... those are very valid points. But... i... i hope you guys understand why i want him to stay... not just sympathy for him because of his situation. I want to help him. I want to make sure he is safe."

"It's only out of sympathy jack." Cierra responded. "I speak for most of us. It's a no."

"Ok" I quietly responded. They all left after I said that. I don't know. I want to help him. I truly want him to be alright. But is it really out of sympathy?

———

AN: And the chapter is done! Honestly I'm putting myself in jacks shoes and just trying to figure out what's going to happen next because I don't even know if he's going to let him stay or not. I mean when the next chapter is out I'll know, but as I'm writing this right now I don't.

Also who watches game of thrones? it's great! I'm on the 5th season right now. Poor Sansa. Also Arya what are you doing? And seriously Lannisters? You accept incest but not gays?? At least the people and high garden are ok with it!! But seriously I wanna GOT out with someone. Because I have so much to say about it.

I'm also gonna try more community interaction!! So!! I want to write a new book called "thoughts" it'll be were we can all share our thoughts and I can share some of mine. Who's up for it?

Ok if you read this far thank you!! I hope you have a good day/ night! If your going through anything, major or minor, I believe in you and I believe you can get through it!! PMA!!! PMA!!!!! PMA!!